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Dreams

A Strange Semi-Sleep / Dream Phenomena | A Story About My Great Grandmother | The Conscious Versus The Subconscious?

I had forgotten about this experience I had, fortunately I wrote it down, here it is. 🙂

Last night I had a dream that had my mom in it and she told me a story of how one of my great grandmothers had gotten sick and was taken to the hospital; and there she had a terrible fever and the doctors did not know what was wrong with her exactly and she died.

I remember feeling sad, even though I never knew her, and I felt the doctors could have done better; and my guess was that it was the flu or something like that, and her immune system was weakened and she did not have enough food/water & the doctors failed to keep her body temperature down.

I remember feeling like I needed to protect something, something related to my family and myself, and maybe it was about protecting myself from whatever killed her but I am not sure; but I felt I had to protect something related to my family, then I woke up.

This morning after waking up and getting back in bed, I was almost fully asleep and a dream was about to start, when suddenly something seemed to be trying to project into my mind/awareness as the dream was about to start.

All I remember is the name Abraham Lincoln, I am not sure about anything else, except I either was thinking of that name and/or maybe seeing images of  that name and/or something and/or someone and/or several people.

I guess that I felt that this was coming from outside my mind and I just wanted to start my dream, but this outside projection kept trying to enter my mind or something, so I kept trying to push it out; and it was like my conscious part of my brain was battling my subconscious part of my brain or something like that. 😀

I was literally rebuking it and trying to start my dream, but this projection kept trying to enter my mind so it could develop or become the dream or control the dream or whatever; and I guess the conscious part of my brain did not let the subconscious part of the brain take over at the beginning of the dream like it normally does, so there must have been a conflict or something between the two.

It was annoying, since my dream world was trying to start being visualized/formed, but this projection kept interrupting it.

I started to wake up in the real world a bit but I felt like I was having a harder time breathing, I felt like something was draining me, I had a harder time moving in my bed when I partially woke up, I felt like I was infected by something, and it could kill me.

I was in a state of being partly awake and in the early stages of starting a dream, and battling this repeated projection at the same time; and my mostly void dream world was somewhat forming and the projection kept trying to enter, so I started trying to summon dream characters to help me fight of this intrusion into my mind/dream.

The dream world was so void that I could not visualize/form the characters well enough to look very clear/detailed/normal but I told them to fight off any intruders and hold them back while I kept pushing the projection away/out.

I was being overwhelmed/overloaded and my body was weakening so I started to wake myself up out of the dream into the real world and I unstacked my pillows on my bed in the real world hoping that would help me feel better/get more comfortable in bed, but my body was feeling drained and I still moved slow.

I went back to sleep fighting this projection as my dream characters, who were not visualized/formed very well/clearly, were also trying to keep it out; I was able to jump back and forth between this place/dream world and waking up in the real world very easily.

I was losing the struggle, so I started to yell at the projection in the dream world, asking it what it wanted; but it kept trying to enter my mind, instead of responding.

I kept pushing it away, but I was being drained and still losing strength in this semi-dream state and in the real world; and in both places I was being drained by something that reminded me of whatever had killed my great-grandmother in the dream, maybe I was experiencing what she went through, who knows.

Anyway, I was losing and considered letting the projection enter my mind and do whatever it wanted, hoping it was not there to hurt me, and I hoped that it would finally tell me what it wanted.

But I felt that was too risky, so I kept fighting in this semi-dream state and in the real world, since I was losing I woke myself up from the dream world to escape the battle, but in the real world I felt like I was dying.

I am not joking, I was having a harder time breathing, I felt like my life was draining away like the two times in my life when I had the flu, and I even started to wonder if I really had the flu or H1N1 or something like that.

I could hardly move, I moved slower than usual and I kept trying different sleeping positions in the real world hoping that it would help me feel better; but it did not help, and I felt too weak to get up or scream for help.

I started to think that I was really dying and wondered what was killing me, in a moment of desperation, I did the almost instinctive defensive jester of holding my hands up to shield my head (to block out whatever I kept feeling trying to enter my mind); and to my surprise this stopped the projection/whatever from trying to enter my mind and my body/I stopped feeling like it was dying, but I was still somewhat weakened.

I kept holding my hands up to shield my mind, and after a while I put my hands down; and no longer did I feel like something was trying to enter my mind and I did not feel like I was dying anymore, and so I finally went back to sleep without the other physical symptoms other than some weakness.

Very strange, I have had sleep paralysis before (some with hallucinations), lucid dreams, false awakenings, but I never had something like this before or since that I can remember.

I am surprised that I had forgotten about this experience, until I found a/this description that I typed of what happened that day.

The end,

-John Jr 🙂

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