Re-Living Old Memories

Last night I remember part of three dreams, but I forgot most of the first two dreams, because I was awakened by a fire alarm/smoke detector.

Dream 1

The first dream involved Rachel Maddow, but I can not remember anything about this dream, except that Ms. Maddow and I were talking, probably.

Dream 2

The second dream was very interesting and it was more like re-living the past, than a dream, it was like my mind was re-organizing some of my old childhood memories and/or it was re-living some of those memories in a partly fictionalized way for some reason; I almost wondered if I was going to die or something, since I was able to enter old memories that my conscious mind usually can not remember while awake, but most of them were partly fictionalized and/or memories that even I am not sure if they were real and/or fake.

Most of the memories took place at my grandparent’s house, and the details were amazing, things looked how I expected them to look back then & I was even able to see rooms that are now locked & that I have not seen in many years & I got to see & hear my grandmother again; which was very nice.

I think that things started with my mom showing me old photographs and we talked about old memories, and then I/we somehow were able to enter some of those memories; I do not think that the people in those memories could see or hear us most of the time, but I am not sure.

I was able to see myself as a kid, my cousin DE as a kid, my grandmother when she was still alive, my mom during those times, and a few other people.

I remember walking around in those memories looking at stuff, touching stuff, and even thinking out-loud to myself and/or talking with my mom; as we watched ourselves when we were younger, in some of those old memories, most of which might have been partly fictionalized but some of them even I could not tell whether they were real or not, either way it was amazing.

One or more of the memories seemed to be of sleepovers at my grandparent’s house and/or Christmas, and I saw & heard my grandmother talking to me as a kid, my cousin DE as a kid, and my mom when she was younger; and it was amazing to see my grandmother again & hear her voice.

I watched & listened wondering if these were real memories or not, since they were so old that my conscious mind did not know exactly, and I carefully listened & watched my grandmother while trying to record and/or compare as much about her that I could; and I wondered if this was what she was really like back then, since my conscious mind has few memories of her that I can remember, due to memory loss & whatever else.

My grandmother was being her usual helpful & caring self, and she showed & explained several things to the kid versions of myself & my cousin DE; and she talked with the younger version of my mom, but I am not sure what she said exactly.

I was my current self, in these memories, watching them in real-time; so it was like going back in the past, but not being seen or heard by the people there most of the time, as I would expect if that was possible.

At some point there was a knock on the door that is connected to the hallway & my grandmother answered the door, and it was my aunt JE & my uncle MS; and they came to see my their son/my cousin DE and/or his sister DE, if she was there, which I am not sure if she was there or not.

They went into the room where DE was and my grandmother and the younger version of my mom talked, while the kid version of myself was probably in another room or in the same room as DE, and my current self was in the hallway watching & listening to my mom & grandmother talk.

We then started to hear yelling and the sounds of someone being attacked, and so we all ran into the room to see what was happening; and my uncle MS was yelling & hitting my cousin DE, and my grandmother & my mom told him to stop.

It seemed that maybe my uncle MS was trying to get DE to not tell a social worker the truth about their home situation or something, I am not sure if my aunt JE was telling him to stop or not, but I do know/think that she was afraid probably/maybe.

I stood there shocked & angry, wondering if my cousin DE’s life had been rougher at times than I had previously thought, I knew that it was probably bad at times but this was worse than I had expected; and I felt bad for him & his sisters.

My uncle MS was not listening to my grandmother or my mom, and he was out-of-control, still yelling & hitting my cousin DE; and then my current self decided to see if I could interfere, and I warned my uncle MS to stop but he did not listen.

I was super angry, I pushed my uncle MS back, I grabbed him, I dragged him out of the house, I kicked him out of the house, my aunt JE went with him, I told them to stop abusing my cousins & to fix their lives, I warned them to never do anything like that again at my grandparent’s house and/or when I am around or next time I would not be as nice and/or I would call the police, I closed the door & I locked it, and I went to see if my cousin DE was okay.

I am not sure if that was a partly real memory or not, the parts before the current me interfered, hopefully it was not; but my cousin DE was somewhat okay, considering the situation.

Later in the dream my mom showed me a fictional photograph of CW and I at school, CW was a girl that I liked back in High School, and in the photograph she looked better than she did back then in real life; and it was a nice photograph that brought back good & bad memories & neutral memories, and I scanned the photograph to my computer & I tried to make a cropped version of the photograph that would look better than the original.

I wonder how CW is doing now-a-days?

Anyway, that is all that I can remember of that dream, since I was awakened by a fire alarm & I jumped out of bed to make sure that the house was not on fire; but it was just the heater burning some dust, nothing serious, fortunately.

Dream 3

The third dream is unclear, and it seemed to possibly take place in an older time period like the 1950s maybe or something like that; and the dream followed some kids (they were adults)/heirs of a mafia-like family who owned a small casino/restaurant/hotel/bar/whatever else on the corner of some big unknown rough-looking city.

The dream took place during the night and in a dark, rough, somewhat dangerous part of the city; there were sidewalks on side of the roads with water puddles, brick townhouses & apartment buildings, and the area had a colder & darker & empty feeling to it.

The mafia-like family’s businesses were the biggest things in that part of town, and people knew not to mess with anyone in the mafia-like family, and so the mafia-like family members could safely walked the streets even at night.

The heirs of the mafia-like family were several brothers and one or more sisters, one of the sisters had blond colored hair & whitish color skin & she wore a white fur thing over her shoulders with a fancy white dress & a fancy white hat & she smoked fancy cigarettes with white plastic tips; and she seemed to be very out-going & she liked to party & sleep around with various men & she liked expensive things, but she seemed to be the one to most likely inherit the family businesses.

Though she had many flaws, she seemed the most fit for leading the family, compared to her brothers; and she had several contacts who helped keep her informed on various things, and so she was already plotting to take over the family, even if she was not chosen.

There were scenes showing the inside of the fancy businesses that the mafia-like family owned, most of the heirs were there having a good time, and I think that other families & rich people often came to their businesses.

Their family was probably one of the smaller mafia-like families, and so they had to be careful not to anger some of the bigger families, so that they would not get wiped out.

A meeting was called for all the heirs to attend, and some of the other mafia-like families were informed of the situation; in the near future a new leader of the family would be chosen, and they were supposed to start trying to decide which heir should lead the family.

The current leader, the heirs, and the other families would have comments on who would lead the family in the near future; the current leader was getting old and/or close to death, and so they needed to start making plans early.

The meeting took place in the VIP section of one of the family’s businesses at a round table where drinks were served in a small private room, and the heirs were all dressed up in suits & dresses like in a mafia film or something & most of them had drivers/bodyguards who drove them their waiting outside securing the area; many of the heirs wanted to lead the family, and so it seemed that there would be conflict.

After the meeting the heiress in the white dress walked the streets, which she often enjoyed doing at night, knowing that she was safe; since she was a known member of the family and the family had eyes & ears around the neighborhood for protection & so anyone that messed with them would have to deal with the family.

Her main contact for/of information was this secret agent-like man who wore a tan-colored trench coat, a tan fedora, and he looked like a detective from an old detective film or something; and she would meet him secretly at night in random abandoned buildings in the basements, during her normal nightly walks.

She told him about the meeting and they talked about the situation & they shared information, they both trusted each other & they both seemed to be good strategists, and they made a good team.

The man helped protect her with his information & he helped her to rise in position in the family with his information, and the woman seemed to have a natural mafia-like leader personality, though she masked it to make others under-estimate her.

The man gave her updates on her chances of being chosen to lead the family, updates on threats to her & the family, and they talked about backup plans if things failed to go their way.

The man warned of conflicts between the heirs that could lead to assassinations and he warned the woman of some of the heirs to watch out for, and so they made plans on how to protect her & how to assassination some of the heirs if a war started.

They made short-term & long-term plans & goals, and they even were in contact with other families for support.

The woman was trying to make friends with most of the other families, make plans to destroy the hostile families, make plans to protect herself & become the new leader of the family, make plans to take out hostile heirs, and she made plans on making her family more powerful.

They both were surprisingly intelligent and sneaky, they would secretly meet up in various random locations at night, their meetings were short, and then they would leave.

They always cleared their locations before and after meetings, for spies & threats, and I woke up after they left their meeting; but I am not sure if I was ever in the dream or not.

The end,

-John Jr 🙂

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