I remember part of about four dream fragments, with the first dream fragment taking place inside of a fictional apartment building where I lived in an apartment alone, and the dream had a gloomy/lonely/outcast-like feeling to it.
The apartment probably was one floor with long hallways with several apartments on each hallway, and the end of the hallway near where I lived was sunken (my apartment was on the normal side); and I do not remember seeing any windows, there was probably brown carpet & walls, and so the apartment had a dark look to it and all the lighting was artificial.
There was a woman who lived in one of the apartments on the sunken end of my hallway who was like Olga Kay or was Olga Kay or was my former college-mate IE (The Goddess On Fire) or was a combination of the two or was someone similar to them who was probably from Russia, I am not sure which, and she made videos & other stuff online; and so she was pretty popular, out-going, and seemed like a fun person.
I seemed to be interested in her and I wanted to talk with her some times, since she lived on my hallway, but when I would get the courage to go down to her apartment to talk with her; she would be gone, she usually left her door to her apartment wide open, even when she was gone.
I probably had never gotten the chance to talk with her, in the many times that I tried going down to her apartment (there were flashbacks of my many past failed attempts), and so this time I decided that I would wait around at her apartment for the longest time ever to see if she would show up; if she was not there this time, as usual.
In this dream my social anxiety, depression, et cetera was pretty bad which is unusual for a dream; but I got the courage/will to walk down to her apartment, but she was not there as usual.
Since the door was opened as usual, I decided to go inside and walk around and wait for a while, and her apartment was shaped like a rectangle with a large open living room/family room/dining room/kitchen area that seemed like a great place to entertain/visit with groups of people; and the other rooms were behind closed doors and/or down a small hallway, but I stayed in the open area looking around & waiting.
After waiting for the longest time ever, I decided to leave, but a woman who lived across the hallway had seen me hanging around the apartment and saw me leaving; she did not get a good look at me so she did not know what I looked like, but later she told the woman that a man was hanging around her apartment while she was gone & she told the security.
That made me feel like a stalker/creep or something and so I felt even worse than I already did, and I probably decided to isolate myself even more and probably give up on trying to talk with the woman one day unless I saw her walking down the hallway or something maybe; I went back to my lonely isolated room, and returned to my gloomy life but that is all that I can remember.
The next dream was more positive and took place during the day and I went to a doctor’s appointment in possibly a fictional version of D not far from where DQ should be, and a woman was with me who might have been NF or like NF or Madamoiselle Cerise or like Madamoiselle Cerise or a combination of both of them or someone similar to them; but I am not sure which.
Who ever the woman was I was close to her, knew her, and we either were dating or close to dating probably; but I am not sure.
The medical clinic was in a small mall-like building with the the clinic being at the front of the building on the left side where nice large glass windows were, and so the waiting room had a clear view of the outside with nice natural lighting coming into it; and I signed in at the front desk where a nurse with dark brownish colored skin with black colored hair wearing a white nurses cap with a white nurses outfit was sitting, and we sat down in the waiting room near the windows.
There was probably a TV on the wall that was probably on but the woman and I sat talking, looking at magazines, and looking outside through the windows mostly.
After waiting longer than I expected I was going to ask the nurse what was taking so long but I had to use the bathroom first, the woman offered to ask the nurse while I used the bathroom, and so I went to the bathroom while she asked the nurse; and when I came out of the bathroom, the nursed said that my records showed that I had not had an appointment in Many years, and so I asked her to call out the name & it was my dad’s name.
I told the woman that I was John Jr and that she had my records mixed up with my dad’s, I mentioned that I always put Jr but most people seem to ignore it which is annoying and that causing a lot of confusion when they confuse my dad & I, and so the nurse had to look up my records to fix the error; and she that I would have to wait a while, and so the woman and I went to walk around the small mall-like building to waste time.
The first area next to the clinic, besides the main entrance, was a room that was like a hangout/lounge area were people could eat/drink/talk/read/sit/sing/whatever; but most of the few chairs and tables were taken, and so we sat on the floor like most of the other people in the room.
I am not sure if the woman and I held hands or not but we were close to each other, to our surprise three men approached us as we sat on the floor, and one of them had a ukulele/one of them might have had another instrument/and the third man had no instrument; and they sat down around us and played & sang a song to us.
It helped to create a nice/romantic/close mood between the woman and I, and we sat & enjoyed their brief song; and then the three men got up to leave to goof around with some of their friends, we thanked them, and said goodbye.
Now that a very nice mood was created and the woman and I felt closer than ever, I decided to give her a gift that I magically knew that I had in my pocket, and it was a small guitar or ukulele still covered in plastic wrap; somehow it magically fit in my pocket and somehow I magically knew that the woman could play the guitar.
She was surprised and happy about the gift and I told her that it would be nice if she unwrapped it now and showed me how to tune the guitar and start teaching me how to play the guitar, and we could practice/play it together for fun.
She thought that was a great idea and a good chance for us to work together and for me to learn to play the guitar, but I woke up as she was unwrapping the guitar.
The third dream took place during the day in possibly a fictional version of D near where DQ should be and there was a fictional abandoned building there that was owned by some rich/business/mafia-like people, I was in a gloomy mood wearing a black suit thinking to myself about trying to find a job, and so I was probably job hunting in our terrible economy/job environment.
I heard and saw three men with whitish colored skin in the abandoned building and they were talking about stealing something from a hidden stash in the abandoned building that belonged to the rich/business/mafia-like people, they saw themselves to be like Robin Hood stealing from the rich & giving to the poor, and then they ran off with whatever they had stolen; and security and maybe police associated with the rich people came in response to the theft, I am not sure how they knew.
The men were gone but maybe some of the security or police went looking for them, but most of the security (who wore black suits and black sunglasses) were searching the abandoned building for something; and so I kept my distance, but then a woman in a dress suit arrived who seemed to be one of the rich people or a high level person within their ranks.
She went inside the abandoned building with a bodyguard, I got close enough to see the bodyguard open a metal panel on a wall that was maybe a heater vent or something like that and he pulled out two old paint buckets with two paint brushes with dried paint on them that looked like trash as the woman in the dress suit watched, and I assumed that was one of the secret stash locations that belonged to the rich people; and they were checking to see if it was stolen or not, I was afraid that if they saw me watching them that I would be killed for seeing too much, and so I started to walk off pretending to be patrolling the area as a security guard (I was wearing a black suit like the security, I only was missing the black sunglasses, so I blended in somewhat).
I walked off with my back too them so that they could not see that I did not have on sunglasses, they probably never noticed me to begin with since I was hiding behind something while I was watching them, and I managed to escape without being noticed; wondering what was that all about and still wondering about getting a job, but I woke up.
The next dream took place in the same area but the abandoned building was now a small portable business office owned by a rich/business/mafia-like family led by an old woman with whitish colored skin with grayish/whitish colored hair.
I was talking with someone who worked for the rich/business/mafia-like family at the small portable business office and they were telling me about the old woman who led the family and how she was mostly grouchy/mean/negative and for me to not under-estimate or cross her family or they could be dangerous.
Her family appeared to mostly run a few legal/legitimate small and medium-sized businesses in the town, and there were probably other larger/more powerful families in the town as well but I am not sure.
In this dream I needed a job as well and as the person and I were talking, the old woman who owned the business walked in with a bodyguard (wearing a black suit with black sunglasses), and she came to check up on how things were going; and she started asking the person questions and looking around at records and stuff.
The worker and I stood near the wall, the bodyguard stood in the corner, and the old woman walked around the business checking things and complaining about various things; the business was doing fine, but she was mostly complaining about other things.
I remember her complaining about how you could not love/trust/marry anyone or that would make you weak/vulnerable to get betrayed/disappointed/et cetera; and she seemed very bitter, she had never married, she does not date, she rejects love as weakness & dangerous, she rejects marriage, et cetera.
After listening to her complain for a while, I decided to challenge her, and I countered some of her complaints with more logical non-absolutist type statements; since she liked to talk in absolutes, like this always happens or everyone does this or you can never do this, et cetera.
She was surprised that I stood up and challenged her and she seemed to respect that, and she seemed to somewhat agree with my more logical non-absolutist statements that acknowledged that some of the complaints she had were true in some ways but not always true; and that there are people who can be married & happy overall or who can date & be happy or who can love & be strong overall, et cetera.
I told her that things are not perfect, bad things happen, neutral things happen, good things happen, some people have more bad things happen than others, but things are not always negative for everyone in reference to love/trust/marriage/dating/et cetera; and there is some hope and good things that happen.
Her approach to life had been a cold/negative/isolated one that had allowed her family to survive, but at a cost, leaving her a mostly bitter/angry/mean/complaining old woman who rejected many of the possible good parts in life and who mostly rejected the reality of positive possibilities; and she treated the world/life/people like enemies that she needed to always defend/fight against or something.
I started to add jokes to my statements which changed the mood and the old woman actually started to smile and laugh, and we started to have a good conversation; my jokes imitated some of her statements and showed the illogic & goofiness of some of her statements.
Our conversation went so well that she offered to pay me to join her and keep her company for a few hours as she continued going around the town checking on her businesses and if things went well, and if I passed their background checks, she would try to find me a job at one of her businesses.
As she was finishing her business checking, the worker told me to be careful and to think twice before I make my decision, but I woke up.
The end,
-John Jr
John Jr's Blog 