11-4-2013 | Dream Fragment | Memories In A Field And Saul Berenson From Homeland Gets A Pep Talk And My Former Classmates CB And HT And DF Are Dead?

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I woke up remembering part of one dream from last night (I forgot my other dreams but I know that I had more dreams) but instead of thinking about the dream to remember all the details of it, I divided it into three main parts in my mind to think about later (hoping that I would not forget all of it by then, and for some reason I did not think about voice recording it), but I did not feel like typing the dream and I did not bother to think about the dream much somewhat surprisingly; and so I probably have forgotten parts of the dream because of that, but I will try to type what I can remember even though I still do not feel like it.

The dream took place during the day in D and I remember standing in the field where my dad used to keep a female cow, a male cow (bull), and a horse back when I was a kid; but like in real life now the field was empty with just grass and flowers/plants now, and I remember thinking about and somewhat seeing and/or somewhat re-living some real and fake past memories from the field and from that time period.

I can not remember the details of this part of the dream but it was nice/interesting I think and at some point a few of my former classmates and/or several unknown people, CIA agent Saul Berenson from the TV show Homeland (I  watched the latest episode last night), and a man/teacher who looked like/acted like/sounded like my former high school Civics/Political Science teacher Coach L combined with another man whose name I can not remember was there in the field with me; and the teacher/coach/man was giving us all a pep talk/teaching us something.

I remember the coach trying to encourage us to follow our dreams/goals/plans/purpose(s)/mission(s)/et cetera in life and to not to give up/to not give up on those things, it seemed that the others and I needed encouragement, especially Saul who looked/acted a bit depressed/sad like he was giving up; and I remember most of us feeling a bit better after the coach’s pep talk, except for Saul, and I remember most of us thanking the coach and walking off (I stayed to talk to the coach) to do something positive now that we were inspired again except for Saul who was walking away like he had given up.

The coach noticed that his pep talk did not work on Saul and so he stopped Saul, he asked him questions about what was wrong/bothering him, and then he gave Saul a personal pep talk as I stood there listening/watching/joining in; and I remember the coach asking Saul if he really wanted to just give up his dreams/goals/plans/purpose(s)/mission(s)/et cetera in life and at the CIA (he was thinking about retiring), was he really finished doing all the work/that he wanted to do, or was he just giving up because of depression/sadness/anxiety/failure(s)/challenges/because of what other people said/because he is getting older/because the world was changing/et cetera.

All these questions and the personal pep talk got Saul to think closely/deeply about the situation, he stood there thinking and not sure how to respond to some of the questions, and I could relate with how Saul was feeling (in fact I think that Saul and his situation represented part of me/my situation, and even in the dream I felt the similarities and I probably said so); and even though Saul still seemed a bit depressed, it was clear that the coach’s personal pep talk and questions had a positive effect/affect on Saul, but I remember the coach refusing to let Saul leave until he said/felt that he was going to at least think about what had been said to him.

Saul said that the coach’s questions and pep talk did get him thinking and that he would continue to think about what was said to him, and so the coach was happy to hear this and he let Saul leave/walk away; and I remember telling the coach that I think that his pep talk helped Saul a bit like it helped me, I thanked him again and I said goodbye, and I walked up the street ready to do something positive.

As I was walking by my aunt JE’s house I decided to start cleaning up her yard and/or doing something positive to help her, I remember my aunt JE coming outside to see what I was doing, and I explained to her what I was doing; and I asked her if she needed help with anything else, and I remember feeling great/inspired and glad to help.

At some point I finished helping my aunt JE and I got a call or a text from one or both of my parent’s and one or both of my parent’s spoke to me in person as well shortly after that/this, I was told that they heard that my former classmates CB And HT And DF had died, and I was surprised/shocked to hear this and I did not want to believe that it was true.

My former classmate CB was said to have been a bit of a trouble maker back when we were in public school and that as an adult he often got in trouble with the police, and so the rumor that he had died was not a surprise to most people; and they assumed that he died doing something reckless/dangerous, like racing in his automobile drunk on the road or trying to escape from the police or something like that, and maybe my former classmates HT And/or DF were with him and/or victims of a possible accident.

It was only a rumor and so I was not sure if they were really dead or not or how they allegedly died but I remember daydreaming/thinking about how each of them were back when we were in public school, guessing how their adult lives had gone since then, and guessing how their alleged deaths happened.

I assumed that my former classmate CB probably had died, that my former classmate HT possibly died but I felt that maybe he was still alive but injured, and I had no guesses about my former classmate DF except that I felt that she was probably still alive; and I hoped that they were all okay, and I remember feeling/thinking how strange it was/felt thinking/imagining that some of my former classmates had already died, some were dying now, and that some would possibly die in the near future.

I imagined myself being one of the first of my former classmates to die, so it was strange to think that I might out-live some/many of them, and that just did not feel right to me/it felt wrong; and I felt like if any of my former classmates was/were to die first/soon/in the future, it should be me, not them.

I asked my dad and/or mom who shared this rumor with them and I asked for more information so that I could try to find out if it was true or not, but I woke up.

The end,

-John Jr

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