I slept pretty well last night only waking up one or two times to use the bathroom and I forgot all of my dreams except for part of one dream, and this dream had a lot of conversations/dialogue(s) in it compared my average dreams.
The dream took place during the day at a fictional school where it seemed that/like a lot of my former classmates and I were back in school again but it seemed that we were still the age that we are now and we were also getting job/career training for various jobs/careers it seemed, one of the jobs/careers that I was getting training for was in the medical field where I worked/trained with a doctor I think, and it seemed that we all had to train/take classes for various jobs/careers until we found a job/career that we wanted to specialize in probably.
In the dream I remember having short/medium/long realistic conversations with a variety of my former classmates and I even communicated with some of my family (my parent’s, my cousin DE, and maybe one or more of my brothers) by text messages and/or mobile phone conversations and/or by email and/or by instant messages as I went to and from various classes, the school buildings were separated and spread out around a large parking lot somewhat like the parking lot for KR H Elementary School and D Junior High School in the city of D but bigger, and so we had long walks to each school buildings giving us time to communicate with and see many people.
I remember communicating with my cousin DE a few times by mobile phone calls and/or text messages, I remember sensing that things were not going well for him, and so I remember indirectly trying to encourage him and give him advice and remind him that there is still hope; but I did this in a way to avoid stressing or annoying him without directly bringing up the topic(s), but I do not remember him mentioning much if any problems that he was having but I sensed some problems.
I remember coming across my former classmate AM at least two times and I gave him a very positive greeting each time with a handshake, he was one of my former classmates who I used to look up to, and I remember us talking about what we had done during the many years since we graduated from public school; and I came across many other classmates who(m) I talked to, but I can not remember which of my other former classmates I talked to during the dream but we had similar conversations like the ones that I had with my former classmate AM and they were all positive.
I can not remember the class parts of the dream except for trying to get to each class and trying to get my supplies for each class, my medical job training class with a doctor seemed to be my most important class, and I remember having to wear a white medical/doctor’s/scientist lab coat with a clear protective mask to protect my face from fluids/et cetera; and I remember trying to make sure that I was not late for that class and that I did not miss that class, the doctor training me was a man/male, and I remember feeling like a doctor as I rushed through the hallways with my uniform/equipment for that/his class.
I remember talking with probably my dad who was probably working at the school or who had stopped by the school briefly, I also talked with my mom and/or one or more of my brothers by mobile phone conversations and text messages, and at some point I went to have lunch in one of the lunch/food buildings; and I went into a little building that did not look like Subway but they sold some Subway submarine sandwiches and they had the sale where you could get two 6 inch sub-sandwiches for $2 each, and they also sold some bakery desserts/items and a few other things from behind a long wooden counter.
Our neighbor Mr. RD was in line in front of me and I briefly talked with him as he got his food, he gave me $10 – $20 to pay for my food and I thanked him, and I continued to wait in line as Mr. RD went to eat his food at a table after paying for his food to a middle-aged female worker with whitish colored skin wearing a whitish colored apron and a whitish colored chef’s/bakery/cooking hat who had a somewhat mean/cold/unfriendly attitude/personality; and I remember having to wait in line with some other people for a very long time, and so I remember talking with other people in the line but I mostly talked with a thin woman with whitish colored skin with long blondish colored hair.
The woman and I talked about some of the TV shows, films, games, books, et cetera that we liked and that we did not like and sometimes other people would join our conversation; and I remember us talking about the TV show The Walking Dead about how she liked the fourth season but I did not like it that much and about how the first season was probably my favorite season, but then she started to disagree with many of my opinions and she started to mostly ignore me and act coldly/unfriendly toward me so we did not talk much or at all after that.
At some point it was finally time for me to pick/order my food but I was having a hard time trying to decide what to get, the female worker made it worse by being mean to me and by trying to rush me, and I remember not wanting to use Mr. RD’s money that he gave me but I felt that he would be offended if I did not use it to buy my food so I decided to buy two of the $2 sub-sandwiches and I would give Mr. RD the change.
I bought my food and then I gave Mr. RD his change and I thanked him once again, I then talked with him briefly and some other people and we had a good conversation, and at some point he/they left after he/they finished his/their food; and eventually I finished my food, but as I was leaving I got a phone call from my mom with some terrible news.
My mom told me that my cousin DE killed himself, I was shocked and I did not want to believe it at first because I had just talked with him a few minutes or an hour or a few hours ago and I had tried to give him some encouragement/advice/remind him that there is hope even though he never said that he was having any serious problems but I sensed that something was not right when I had talked with him, and I started to tell my mom about how I had recently talked with him.
I started to feel a bit over-whelmed and I probably cried a bit trying to hide it so that no one could tell that I was crying or close to crying, even though I had done what I could to help my cousin DE over the phone I still wished that I had known that things were that bad and that I could have somehow convinced him not to kill himself, and so it was sad/hard knowing that there was hope for my cousin DE but he did not see it and had decided to kill himself.
I remembered that I had forgotten to remind him about the Job Corps, I wondered if that would have helped to give some hope to avoid him killing himself, and so I felt a bit bad for forgetting to remind him of that; but then I had to remind myself that my cousin DE killing himself was not my fault, that I did what I could to help him even though I did not even know that my cousin DE was suicidal or that he was having serious problems, and this helped me a bit but I was still disappointed and sad.
I probably still had some time before my next class, probably the medical job training class with the doctor, and so I tried to take this time to deal with the bad news and to decide if I should go to class or not; but I woke up.
The end,
-John Jr
John Jr's Blog 