I barely remember part of one dream from last night after waking up suddenly to use the bathroom my memory of my dreams were mostly destroyed by a loud radio that was playing in the bathroom that prevented me from being able to think well enough to save my memories of my dreams as they rapidly faded away as I used the bathroom, unfortunately, and so all that I am left with is an unclear/confusing dream that left me with many questions and it left me confused because the most important parts of the dream are missing leaving me with some serious revelations/reveals/whatever that someone/something told me that do not make much sense and I wonder what it meant/represented/symbolized/et cetera.
Before I went to sleep I played some of the video game Far Cry 3, watched an episode of the television show Homeland, and I watched most of an episode of the television show Agatha Christie’s Poirot; but I can not remember if any of those/these things inspired this dream or not because I can not remember most of the dream.
All that I can remember of this dream at this time is that it took place during the day and at some point in the dream someone or something told me that I was dying of cancer, I can not remember who are what told me this or where we were when they told me, but I think that they showed me evidence/whatever to support their claim that I had cancer and that I was dying; and so I assume that maybe this person was a doctor or a scientist or someone I assumed to be a professional/smart/knowledgeable/et cetera.
Either this person/thing or someone/something else told me something else that makes no sense to me, unfortunately I can not remember this part of the dream well enough to make sense of it so this part of the dream leaves me with the most questions and confusion, but I think that this person or thing told me that my sexual orientation was or probably was homosexual.
This made no sense to me and I probably told them so because as far as I know I have never been attracted to other men in my life in any way (physically, emotionally, socially, sexually, mentally, et cetera) and not in real life, not in my dreams, not in my daydreams, not in my thoughts, et cetera; and I can never see that changing even if someone drugged, tortured, and tried to brainwash me because my sexual orientation is heterosexual/I am only attracted to women (consciously and subconsciously in real life, in dreams, in daydreams, in thoughts, et cetera) and I always have been as far as I know and I just never see this changing because it is just part of who I am and I can not control it.
I tried to keep an open mind and think about this because the truth is important to me and I do not want to be living a lie but this still did not make sense to me, even though there was no evidence of this being true I still decided to keep an open mind and consider the possibility and investigate it and to let other people know what this person or thing told me, and so who or whatever told me this I must have thought highly of this person’s/thing’s opinions and/or knowing/thinking that I was dying effected/affect how I handled this information.
I still can not remember who or what told me this information, Hercule Poirot?, Carrie Mathison?, a doctor or scientist I know?, an unknown entity?, someone I know or trust or consider intelligent?, part of myself?, who knows?; but I do know that I then went around preparing for my death and letting other people (family and other people I know) know the information that was told to me.
I remember being in probably a fictional version of the city of D inside a fictional larger version of the BP School Board building I think and my dad and possibly my mom were there with me, I went to let some high level people/workers and teachers I knew at the BP School Board know the information that was told to me, it was like maybe I was working with the BP School Board again or was a student.
I had a meeting with some of them that was like an interview somewhat in a small meeting room or office that had no windows and that had mostly brownish colored carpet/walls/et cetera, oddly the building had young students around and their teachers like there was an elementary school combined with their building, and the person leading my interview/meeting/whatever was a somewhat older woman with dark brownish colored skin with maybe blackish colored hair.
I explained the information that was revealed to me about me supposedly having cancer and that I am dying trying to make sure that everyone who I know knows and that I get everything taken care of before I die so that everything will be in order, and surprisingly I even told them the information that made no sense to me and that there was no evidence of about my sexual orientation supposedly being homosexual according to whoever or whatever told me this.
This was very surprising because information like that would probably spread like a wild-fire and negatively effect/affect people’s opinions of me, my family (especially my dad who is a Christian preacher/pastor), et cetera in this Christian conservative culture/area; but I told them this anyway even though I still did not believe it, I told them that bisexual would have been more believable than homosexual, but even that makes no sense to me because my sexual orientation is and always has been heterosexual and I never see that changing but I would keep an open mind while trying to decide if this was true or not because I want to know the truth even if I do not like that truth or think that is the truth.
I told them that I could find no evidence of this being true and that I have tried to think about it and imagine it with an open mind but it still makes no sense to me mentally or emotionally et cetera, I told them that I have never even had sex, and so I still did not think that this was true; but I would continue to keep and open mind and investigate this further, but I wanted them to note that I do not consider that to be accurate or true at all.
The woman and the group of high level people left after taking some notes on my statements and asking some questions and probably saying their condolences(?), I was not sure if our meeting was over or not, it seemed that they either took a break or had some other meetings to attend; and so I waited as new groups of people entered the room, and then I left to search for them to ask if our meeting/interview was done or not.
While searching for them I came across my dad and maybe my mom, I told them what happened, and then he/they joined me in my search for the others; but I woke up.
I still wonder who or what told me this information, where did they tell me this information, what evidence if any did they have, and why did I seem to think so highly of their opinions that even when they made no sense and even when there was no evidence I still continued trying to investigate this and tell others even when I did not think that part of the information was true like it was almost impossible for them to be wrong or something like that or I just wanted to make sure that I was correct because the truth was more important to me than what I thought to be true.
Also I was handling the news of having cancer and dying very well, almost like it was good news or I was neutral about it, and I was easily able to focus on preparing things before I die so that my family would not have to worry about all that; and that information seemed believable to me, but the sexual orientation information seemed completely wrong/off so I wonder what that was all about?
2 replies on “Someone / Something Tells Me That I Am Dying Of Cancer & That My Sexual Orientation Is Homosexual Or Bisexual?”
Reblogged this on The Daily Pause and commented:
I’m glad you’re “core personality” is still intact as far as your sexual orientation as a male human especially among conservative Christians.
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I only have and always have had one sexual orientation/core personality/whatever as far as I know, heterosexual, in real life/my dreams/my daydreams/my thoughts/subconsciously/consciously/socially/emotionally/mentally/physically/online/et cetera.
I wish that I could remember more of this dream so that I could have a better idea why that forgotten dream character even suggested homosexual or bisexual as a possible sexual orientation, if that was true I would not lie about it (I see no point in lying about things like that), but it is not true and I never see my sexual orientation ever changing from heterosexual to anything else and I probably could not change it even if I wanted to (which I do not); and so I wonder what that was all about? 😀
Also, I wonder what kind of cancer was I supposed to be dying from and for how much more time was it estimated that I would live?
Also, I wonder what my other dreams were about last night?
Anyway, thank you for commenting Flynn. 🙂