I went to bed very late last night and I slept pretty well/deeply without waking up much, so I forgot all of my dreams except for barely part of the end of my last dream, and like my dream from the night before last this dream had a sport(s) theme to it combined my problems with anxiety / depression / et cetera.
All that I can remember of the dream is that I think that it started during the day in a fictional location and I walked into maybe a one-story building that had one or more football / soccer fields, there was a small crowd of people watching people playing football / soccer, and the soccer matches started from youngest to oldest; and so the kids played their soccer matches first.
As I watched some of the soccer matches I heard rumors that there was a person who would wear disguises and pretend to be someone else and that person would play in various soccer matches, but no one knew who this person was so no one had identified this person yet; and so it was just rumors, and no one knew if it was true or not.
Later the adult soccer matches took place and the last soccer match was possibly a semi-professional or professional soccer match but I am not sure, it was a good match / game, and at some point it was a tie/draw; and during the break I was somehow asked to be the goalie / goalkeeper for one of the teams, but I am not sure how or why (maybe their goalie got injured).
I accepted the offer and I ran on the field to practice during the break, I was use(d) to defending the goalie not being the goalie when I was younger (sweeper and center/centre back positions mostly), and so I needed all the practice that I could get during the break; and I did not want to let them down.
I was not doing as good as I wanted to do during the break as I/we practiced, so I was not happy/confident about my/our chances, and I felt that they/we would lose once the game started back because of me; but for some strange reason I seemed to be their only other option for the goalie position.
Fortunately after the break was over they decided to continue the game/match on another day, the team invited me to go out partying and having sex with as many women as they could, but I declined the offer because that is not my thing (not only because of anxiety and shyness and that I have never been to a party/club/bar/et cetera, but wildly partying and having sex with random women without worry of sexually transmitted diseases (STD) or pregnancy et cetera is not a good idea in my opinion).
The team had a system in place where they would party and have sex with many women after games as they traveled, their system organized/planned/handled this somehow but I can not remember how, but they mentioned it to me; and then some of them started to leave to go party and have sex.
I noticed a man with medium-dark brownish colored skin with short dark-colored hair who I recognized from earlier in the dream who was playing in one of the soccer matches/games, but earlier in the dream he had brownish-colored dreadlocks; and so I asked him if he had played in one of the soccer matches earlier, but he denied it.
I did not believe him and I started to think that he was probably the person who the rumors had described, the person wearing disguises pretending to be someone else and playing in various soccer matches, and I told him that I would not tell anyone else; and eventually he admitted that I was correct, and that the rumors were true and that he was that person and that the dreadlocks from earlier was/were a wig.
He told me that I should not let my anxiety disorders (social and generalized), depression, shyness, et cetera continue to control my life and that I should try going partying with the team; but I told him that was not my thing, and I explained why.
He told me that instead of their wild partying and sex with random women that I could at least go out sometimes to have a bit of fun while also trying to find/start/build a relationship with a woman/someone, that my current lifestyle of being controlled by my anxiety/depression/et cetera and being forever single/dateless/alone was not healthy, and I told him that he was probably correct; but I can not remember how he even knew this information about me (maybe I told him or he magically knew this somehow?).
He invited me to join him because he was going to join the team to go partying I think, I remember stopping to think about what he told me, and I remember feeling a bit negative/sad as I thought about some of the truth in his statements as I thought about my life; but I woke up.
The end,
-John Jr
John Jr's Blog 