Dear Ashton (Ashton Deary) & Jennifer Lopez?

Source: Wikimedia Commons

I did not voice record this dream, I forgot parts of this dream when I woke up, and I forgot more parts of this dream this morning; and so expect missing details and some guessing and some possible errors, and this dream was possibly partly inspired by this Double Toasted video called Double Toasted Interviews Dear Ashton that I watched a few weeks ago:

All that I can remember of this dream is that at some point in the dream I was inside maybe a windowless building during the day with a group of people who had just had a meeting or class or something like that, everyone was leaving and I remember following a possibly blind or legally blind woman who reminded me of a thinner version of Dear Ashton (Ashton Deary) because I heard her mention to someone/everyone that she was about to teach a class on something that was connected to an organization that she started and I guess she invited anyone to come to her class, and I was going to check out her class and organization to learn more.

She probably did not know that I was following her, I decided to check out her class after she had already walked away so she was ahead of me already, and so I decided to just follow her from a distance so that I could see where the classroom was and decide if I wanted to go inside or not; and at some point she reached the classroom, and a few other people entered so I decided to enter.

I noticed that everyone there seemed to have disabilities and so it seemed that the class and the woman’s organization was about that, the room was dimly lit and I remember walking to the woman’s desk to ask her for more information about her class and her organization, and to make sure that it was okay for me to be there; and I remember her sensing/hearing me standing in front of her desk even when I had not said anything yet, and she greeted me and she assumed that I was also blind or had a disability of some kind.

I do wear glasses and I have problems with anxiety and depression et cetera but I was not sure if those things counted as a disability or not, I was going to ask and correct her if she thought that I was blind and/or had some other disabilities but somehow I ended up just going with it oddly instead of asking about it and correcting any mistakes/misunderstandings, and I possibly took my glasses off or pretended to have worse vision problems than I really had or I really did have worse vision problems but I can not remember.

I just know that my vision was or got worse but that I was possibly partly acting as well and/or I just did not have my glasses on (which I usually do not have in dreams or know if I have them on or not, and I am not even sure if I had glasses in this dream or not), and I sat down at a desk and I attended her class and learned more about her organization; but I remember feeling a bit bad about possibly somewhat misleading them, and I partly wanted to talk to her about this after her class.

After her class I went to talk to her but I am not sure if I was able to talk about what I had planned because she invited me to go with her and some other people to a party that one of her friends and/or sponsors/whatever were having, and so I joined her and we walked to the party which was taking place near the school/building that we were in; and I remember us walking outside under a catwalk like the one at the D High School, and maybe the party started there or near here but I can not remember.

Her friend/sponsor/whoever was a rich and famous single woman who I think looked like Jennifer Lopez at first or during some part during the dream, her appearance changed several times as the dream went on but I did not notice this during the dream oddly, and she had a nice house and she knew a lot of people; and so she had a nice big party with a variety of people there including rich and famous and well-connected people.

I was introduced to her by the woman who invited me and during the party we spent a lot of time together and I remember people having a good time, my memory is too unclear but I think that we eventually started dating, and later in the dream we possibly got married and had a wedding and/or wedding party during the dream; and I lived with her at her nice house/mansion and that is probably where we had the possible wedding party, and we would have parties sometimes/often and things were good except that she was always paranoid that I might cheat on her and/or divorce her for a younger and more attractive woman and she no longer looked like Jennifer Lopez during these parts of the dream (her appearance changed two or more times during the dream, but I can not remember how she looked each time).

It seemed that she probably had some bad relationships and/or marriages in the past so she was very cautious, sensitive, and paranoid about certain things and I was younger than her so that made her even more worried; and so she was often overly sensitive, cautious, jealous, et cetera when I was around young and beautiful women who would often possibly be at her parties and visiting her house/mansion.

I never did anything that would make her this paranoid/cautious and I would try to assure her that I had no plans on doing something like that to her but it was never enough, I assumed that it was not about me but about her past relationships/marriages and her issues as a result of them, and so I tried to not let that bother and I was very understanding; and I tried to do what I could to help reduce her paranoia/fears/et cetera, but she still would not trust me and she was very controlling and constantly trying to make sure that I was not cheating on her or planning to divorce her.

She would probably spy on me, keep me close where she could almost always watch me if necessary, and more but it did not bother me as much because I spend most of my time at home and I do not have a lot of friends and I do not party or drink at bars and clubs et cetera; and I mostly enjoyed being close to her, except when she would be overly paranoid / controlling / et cetera, and she would even accuse me of cheating or planning to divorce her sometimes.

She would get very emotional and angry and yell and accuse me of things that were not true, I would have to explain and prove that she was wrong, and that would somewhat help until the next time; and this was slowly hurting our marriage/relationship, and I wanted her to get help and I was willing to go with her to counseling and to try to help her but she probably refused.

The woman who first introduced us was still friends with us so I would probably talk with her about things sometimes, she would try to help us sometimes and she was a great friend to us, but my wife / girlfriend possibly started to slowly get paranoid about me cheating on her with our friend; and so she probably did not want us to spend much time together.

I remember starting to wonder how much more of this I could take and it was starting to bother me a bit, I remember trying to decide what I should do, and I remember thinking alone during one of her parties at her mansion as I sat alone on a spiral staircase/spiral stairs; and an attractive woman with maybe long reddish colored hair with pale whitish colored skin wearing a nice dress who possibly somewhat looked like the character Alice Morgan from the BBC television show Luther stopped to ask me if I was okay.

I remember thinking that if my wife / girlfriend saw this that she would be thinking and accusing me of trying to cheat on her, she was often accusing me of this anyway even when I tried to do what I could to prevent that from happening, but this time I was tired of trying and being accused constantly; and so I decided to have a conversation with the woman without worrying what my wife / girlfriend would think, and I probably even hoped that she saw us and that she would falsely assume that I was trying to cheat on her.

I was annoyed and angry and I wanted to just be able to talk to people normally without all the precautions and worrying and being accused and yelled at, but I had no plans on trying to cheat or anything like that; and so I answered the woman’s question, and we started having a conversation but I am not sure if my wife / girlfriend saw us or not and I woke up.

The end,

-John Jr