The Daily Post had a Daily Prompt today called Fearless Fantasies, and this is what it said:
How would your life be different if you were incapable of feeling fear?
Would your life be better or worse than it is now?
(Thanks, Nique Lektra, for inspiring this prompt!)
And this is my response:
My life would be so much different that I can not even imagine all the many ways that it would be different, and there would be too many things to list here but here are a few: I would have dated and probably been married by now, I would have graduated from college, I would have a job, I would have my own place to live, I would have enough money to support myself and family, I would be able to afford things that I want and need, I would be able to speak another language, I would be able to play a musical instrument, I would have visited another country, I would have better fashion sense and a better wardrobe, I would be in even better physical condition, I would have better social connections with other people, I would have achieved most of my goals in life, I would be a more balanced person, I would have more skills and knowledge and experience et cetera, and much more.
My life would definitely be better in almost every way, suffering and being trapped by fear through untreated social anxiety disorder and untreated generalized anxiety disorder and shyness and all the things that have resulted from those things has/have ruined my life and still controls my life until this day and has helped make me into the failed person that I am today, and so without that my life would be much better and I would be a much better overall person compared to the shadow-catastrophe of a person who probably should have died long ago but who is still barely alive today for now.
Paddling furiously, just to keep afloat.
I slept pretty well and solidly last night so unfortunately I forgot most of the dreams that I had last night except for barely part of the end of my last dream, there was a lot more to this dream that I can not remember, but I do know that it took place during a nice sunny day in a fictional city.
At the end of the dream I remember being at and outside a school or college, some of my former classmates like my former male classmate LT were there, and I remember talking to my former classmate LT and maybe some of the others; and there were news reports of a serial killer going around murdering people.
There was a large parking lot and paved walking areas around this school or college, I spent a lot of time walking around, and near the college was a small Chinese restaurant called Yum Yangs or Yim Yum Yangs or something like that which mostly sold dumplings.
At some point I went to this restaurant with my parents to eat, there were only a few other people inside the restaurant, and a male worker who was probably from China brought us our menus but I can not remember if we ordered food or not before he went into the back of the restaurant; I just remember asking him about a job opening that they had, he answered my questions about the job opening, and then he went in the back of the restaurant to either give the cooks our order or to wait for us to order.
While he was gone a man with whitish colored skin who was dressed like a doctor about to perform surgery wearing blueish colored scrubs stood up and he started cutting blackish colored foam-like material that is used to cover/insulate water pipes for your house, and I thought that this was odd; but at first I thought that he was just a doctor practicing for something.
Then I started to realize that something was not right with him and I started to suspect that he was the serial killer, I probably asked him what he was doing, and at some point he probably admitted to being the serial killer and he started talking crazy and acting crazy and he started attacking people; and I remember taking him down to the ground and holding him down, and a woman who was probably from China and a man tried to help hold him down as well.
The serial killer bit the woman on her arm and the woman started to act crazy and attack us as well, it was like the serial killer was infected with something contagious that made you go crazy and attack people or he had the ability to make people do this if he bites them, and so I had to let go of the serial killer to defend against the woman.
The other man who was still holding the serial killer down got bit as well and he started going crazy and attacking us so I had to defend against him as well, and then the serial killer pulled out a handgun to try to stop me from stopping him; and I managed to disarm him, and at some point I ended up shooting him and killing him during my struggle against him and the infected/controlled man and woman.
Immediately after he died the woman and the man returned to normal, somehow his death broke/stopped whatever was controlling or infecting them, and this confused and surprised me; but I was happy that they were okay, and then we waited for emergency services to arrive to investigate and quarantine us and the area but I woke up.