Write about what you did last weekend as though you’re a music critic reviewing a new album.
And this is my response:
The BP Music Review
January 16, 2016
I the critically acclaimed music critic for The BP Music Review, Jimme Hi-Pants Jonsin III, would like to share an awful experience that I had last weekend while traveling through some poor backwater city called The City Of D.
I took a break from driving to walk around a neighborhood to stretch my legs after a long drive, it was some poor peasant neighborhood called Eastside by the local peasants I believe, and I saw a poor jobless bum peasant by the name of John Jr (Who only uses their given name and suffix? What a weirdo.) walking in a yard listening to music on a small Sansa Clip MP3 player (I thought that MP3 players were extinct, silly peasant, too poor to afford an over-priced smartphone I guess).
The yard and the alley next to it had a variety of filthy animals and pets, like some kind of peasant zoo or farm, anywho this peasant who calls himself John Jr (a shy jobless loser bum waste of space living-dead peasant) was listening to an awful mixture of music that was randomly playing because he was using the shuffle feature on his ancient peasant MP3 player device.
He started with a classic Jimi Hendrix’s Voodoo Child (Slight Return), not bad, but then things got weird as various songs from various music genres and various time periods and various music artists and in various languages started to play and there was even audio from films and television shows and online videos et cetera.
There was even music from mostly unknown music artists like some French music artist named Pauline Croze (who is this?) and almost all of her songs were in French, I doubt that this peasant named John Jr even knows French yet alone any of the other languages that I heard him listening to and he probably can barely even speak English, who listens to music in other languages that they do not understand? (What a weirdo, silly peasant)
It was like being trapped in The Twilight Zone, I never hear such a strange mixture of music in my life, and so I just wanted to share this to publicly shame this peasant named John Jr and other people with such a terrible and strange varied taste in music and audio.
Enough about this peasant, I have critically acclaimed music reviews to write.
-Jimme Hi-Pants Jonsin III (Critically Acclaimed Music Reviewer For The BP Music Review)
-John Jr 😀