My Former Classmate HL And Embarrassment

File:Bullying Sexual.JPG
Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Dream 1

I had some interesting and detailed and deep dreams last night, I failed to voice record them the first time that I woke up, and the second time that I woke up so I forgot most of them and most of what was left after the third time that I woke up to finally voice record what I could remember even though I did not want to share them.

There was much more to this dream but I can not remember most of it and I did not want to share it so I forgot most of it, unfortunately, and the dream took place during the day.

I think that my dad’s friend (and best man at his wedding) Mr. (we call him Brother) LL was at my parent’s house helping my dad with something, he is one of the few people my dad can rely on to help him in the rare times that he needs help with trying to work on/fix an automobile or something like that, and at some point Mr. LL left.

I eventually left as well, I remember walking around outside at a fictional place and I was not alone at first but I can not remember who was with me, and we were walking across grass near a field or park-like area.

There was a fenced area where we heard work (construction)-like sounds, we saw Mr. LL working over there with some other men like this was his job, and at some point he saw and we talked with him briefly before moving on.

At this point the other person with me was gone and I met a more attractive and sexier and seductive version of my former female classmate HL who was still her intelligent self, and we walked and talked about many things and we went inside a building where she and/or I worked.

Down a carpeted hallway was a booth where she and/or worked, I stopped there to talk with her, and I remember us having good and intelligent and arousing conversation and I remember my former female classmate HL saying that she had not found anyone to have sex with and to date in this city yet like she was implying that sheΒ was interested in having sex with me and dating me if I was interested.

I was definitely interested and she seemed to be giving me many signs/hints et cetera which aroused me until at some point I was leaning forward on something and my groin was touching it, I had a partial erection at this point, and my former classmate HL said that she was looking for something and she reached down and she ended up grabbing my partly erect penis.

I assumed that she did this intentionally, there was a pause as she still had her hand on my partly erect penis, and then I did and said something that was not like me at all and it was very cringe worthy and corny and embarrassing and many other adjectives.

I made a stupid and terrible sex joke in a super terrible attempt to flirt asking her if she found, whatever it is that she was looking for (I assumed that she had used code so I assumed that what she was looking for was actually a penis, and that she had intentionally grabbed my penis), but my joke asked if she had found the big whatever *something that I can not remember* object that she was looking for.

There was a pause as she felt my partly erect penis, then she answered no somewhat angrily and like she had lost all interest in me and did not even want to see or talk to me now, and that dropped the mood instantly and I was confused and wondered if I had been wrong about her intentions or if she was not interested in me after feeling how big my partly erect penis was and I wondered if I had just messed things up.

I felt terrible and stupid and embarrassed, I probably asked her what happened because I was confused but she probably did not want to talk or see me, and so I left with many emotions and thoughts.

I wanted to email her to apologize and to find out what happened, and I wanted to return to talk to her about it and apologize in person.

I walked around trying to go over everything in my mind trying to figure out what happened and if I had interpreted things incorrectly, I was so embarrassed by my stupid joke and it seemed a bit like sexual harassment so I wondered if she would report me, and basically I felt terrible and like such a fool and I wondered why did I do something like that because that is not like me at all.

So many emotions and thoughts crossed my mind that I could not be still, I paced around thinking and thinking out-loud and verbally shaming myself, and I tried to figure out how to phrase my email to my former classmate HL but I wanted to talk with her in person but I was not sure if she would talk with me yet.

I paced around trying to waste some time before approaching her again, hoping that she would talk with me now, but I woke up still feeling embarrassed and terrible and like a fool and many other adjectives and I hated what I said/did.

Dream 3

All that I can remember of this dream is that it took place in a dream-like place that was dark like it was evening, maybe a purplish darkness with some light, I was on a dock-like area on water, and the area was a maze-like game/competition-like thing that seemed to be symbolic to what I was hearing in the dream.

As I went around this maze-like area over the water I was hearing news about some people questioning the relationship between the military and a corporation, I can not remember the details, but this maze seemed to symbolize this situation in various ways.

But that is all that I can remember of this dream.

-John Jr

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