In this dream my brother CC was younger again, maybe in high school again, and he was in a boxing tournament.
My brother CC had won all of his matches so far, during a break he got in a fight with my brother GC in a bathroom, and after that he fought his last fight of the tournament against an overweight man with dark-color skin who was expected to lose to my brother CC.
Unfortunately my brother CC lost the fight early in the fight from a couple of lucky punches thanks to having already fought several fights and after fighting my brother GC in the bathroom without gloves, and so everyone else was surprised and disappointed including the announcers.
I knew that my brother CC would have won, so he had nothing to be ashamed of, and I told him so.
But that is all that I can remember of this dream.
This dream is unclear now because it was somewhat of a torturous dream where I kept having to deal with not being able to do something while constantly being confronted with the emotions connected with that.
This dream seemed to involve my coworkers at The BP Library and some of their families, some of my former coworkers, maybe some students, patrons, and maybe others depending on the part of the dream because we kept moving to different indoor and outdoor areas doing different things.
This dream seemed to involve a return to work, work training, professional development, family and friends day, open house and tour, several events, breaks to eat and drink, and who knows what else.
It was a constant cycle of moving between different activities, events, trainings, et cetera.
I wanted to say hello to my female coworker JB and talk to her, but there was always something that prevented this such as: us being put in different groups and on different teams throughout the dream, us being in different rooms and areas sometimes during the dream, us being on different sides of a room or area, JB being busy talking with her family (her husband BB and their children) and her team and others, et cetera.
JB probably did not even realize that I was there because we were always so far away from each other, and she was not really paying attention to her surroundings well, this bothered me throughout the dream as I kept looking around sometimes looking for opportunities to at least say hello to JB, and maybe there were a few brief moments where I possibly could have greeted JB, but I probably felt that JB did not look like she wanted to be approached, and I doubted if she even wanted to talk to me, but I can not remember.
I do remember that this constant cycle negatively impacted my mood et cetera and I pretty much gave up thinking that I would not even get a chance to say hello to her at this rate, that maybe this is how things were going to be from now on, so I might as well try to get used to it, that maybe something is wrong with the fact that I care this much about saying hello to her and talking to her that it would bother me like this, and so I probably felt that I need to think about why and how I should deal with this et cetera.
At some point I remember leaving with my family finally to go shopping et cetera, we went to several stores, and we split up, and I met a family of mostly women with light-color skin with mostly yellow hair who were from The United Kingdom (UK) who were also in the earlier parts of the dream.
They arrived by automobile in the parking lot of a store at the same time as I did, I greeted them and I ended up joining them as they shopped as I waited for my family to finish their shopping so that we could go eat at a nearby Chinese restaurant, and at some point I met up with my family.
My mom left to shop at one more store before joining us at the restaurant, the rest of my family went ahead to the restaurant as well as the family from The UK, and I possibly went somewhere else until my mom was finished, or I went to the restaurant.
Either way, the next thing that I remember is being on maybe an upper floor of a building and I needed to urinate, and so I went to a bathroom; there is a chance that my brother GC was with me or someone else, but I can not remember.
There were two other men in the bathroom trying to urinate, unfortunately the most private areas were next to them, and so I had to urinate in an area where the man with medium-color skin was to my right urinating and the other man was to his right urinating.
To make things worse I did not have a toilet or a urinal, it was broken, and there was a large metal pan full of urine that I had to urinate in.
As I was urinating I heard JB talking to someone to my surprise, I glanced through an opening to see that JB and her daughter WB who was to her left were washing their hands at the sinks, and JB was talking to a tall man with light-color skin with dark-hair who looked like a model who had his son to his right washing his hands.
JB and her daughter were the only females in the bathroom, this confused me because I assumed that this was a men’s bathroom, but I did not focus on this because now I had chance to finally say hello to JB.
I waited for JB and the man to stop talking before I went to wash my hands, I greeted JB as I washed my hands, and I told her that I had been trying to say hello to her for a long time and that I had given up, so I was surprised that I finally got this chance.
JB responded/joked that she was surprised that I was comfortable enough to talk to her since we had not seen each other in a long time thanks to our library being under an emergency closure thanks to The Coronavirus (COVID-19), and I told her that my break during that time did not go well because I did not do much, and it was pretty lonely, and I was forced to see how empty my life really is with the lack of friends really et cetera and how I did not get to say goodbye to her and our other coworkers on our last day of work before the emergency closure and how that had bothered me.
I woke up as I was starting to tell JB that I guess it was going to be harder/more difficult for me if things were going to continue to be like this where it would be so difficult to even have a chance to say hello to her or talk with her briefly.
I woke up still feeling bothered with the various negative emotions that I had to deal with throughout most of this dream, it was like my subconscious was torturing me a bit, but for a reason which I assume is that my subconscious was trying to bring these emotions and this issue to the surface to force me to face it and feel it and maybe hopefully get over it or figure it out and what to do about it.
Overloading yourself with those emotions and situations can sometimes show you that you can handle it if the worst case happens, which can sometimes help you overcome something or at least better deal with it once you realize that you can handle more than you expected, and it seems that it was trying to focus my attention on the real issue.
If I am correct then I guess it was trying to show me the focus of this dream, there was only one person who I really cared the most about saying hello to and talking to which was my coworker JB, beyond just being bothered by not getting to say goodbye to my coworkers and not getting to talk to them during this break it seemed to show that not really getting to say goodbye properly to JB or getting to talk to JB is what really is bothering me.
My subconscious did not seem to be telling me what I should do about this, it seemed to be leaving that up to me to decide, but it seemed that it wanted to show me the truth and to face it and decide why and what this means and what should I do about it.
My assumption is that is not a good thing to have something like this bother me like this, to care that much about being able to at least greet and talk to a certain person like that, and that I need to figure out how to deal with it or just keep pushing it under the surface where it pops up here and there and in dreams sometimes.
Anyway, that combined with being under quarantine basically and how empty my life is socially impacted much of my day, and I spent a while thinking about this dream and those things while walking and jogging outside this morning and afternoon.
- John Jr