An Unstable Lucid Dream During A Work Trip

Source: Wikimedia Commons

I went to sleep on the couch for maybe two hours, I woke up without recording any dreams and I stayed up another two hours or so, and I went to sleep in bed.

I woke up from some dreams and a lucid dream, I somehow went back to sleep without voice recording them, I had a variety of dreams and woke up and went back to sleep several times after that, and at some point I woke up from a dream remembering part of the lucid dream from earlier and I started trying to remember it while sacrificing my memory of my other dreams except for part of my last dream.

Dream 1

This was possibly a dream within a dream that became lucid or I possibly woke up from it into another dream or I woke up and then had another dream right after it where one or more of the previous dreams were referenced.

At some point during this dream I was inside a maybe windowless room in a line with some of my coworkers, and we seemed to be maybe just arriving at a hotel for our library work trip in the city of NO that we will be taking very very soon for 5 days (so I may not be able to type my dreams et cetera during most of that week) .

We were all excited and I guess we were about to check into the hotel, then I started to realize that it was not really time for our work trip yet, there was a cloudiness blocking my ability to think but I was slowly starting to lift it a bit.

Then out-loud I said: “How are we on our work trip already, it is not time for it yet, wait a minute… This is a dream!”.

I was excited and I immediately wanted to tell my new female coworker J and maybe the others that this was a dream, but as I rushed to do this the dream was clearly unstable and I felt that I was losing it fast so I started to spin around with my eyes open and while rubbing my hands together.

This helped but my dream was still not completely stable, but it was stable enough to keep going.

The first dream goal that came to my mind was to ask the dream world / my subconscious a question, and maybe I asked it: if there was anything that it wanted to teach me or show me or help me with or improve?

I am not sure if it responded or not, it is possible that some dream characters started to respond but I am not sure, and then I asked a more defined question by asking it: if there was anything that it could do to help me with my problems with anxiety, is it possible to fix this from the dream world or something?

A male dream character with light-color skin, I am not sure if he appeared or if he was already there or if a dream character shapeshifted into him, started to respond to my question in a way that seemed that it would be profound.

I can not remember what he said but it was starting well and I even responded to him trying to clarify the profound but unclear / cryptic responses that he was giving to me, but I could feel the instability of the dream world still and maybe it was increasing which then seemed to make the dream character start to act crazy and his responses became unstable and he started attacking me for no reason.

I probably should have tried to stabilize the dream again before things got crazy but I did not, the man would not obey my verbal commands so I had to fight him off, but I can not remember if I killed him or not.

I just know that all the dream characters started attacking me, and so I fought them and I started using some dream powers like flying and levitating and dodging with my mind and other dream powers like various attacks that I can not remember.

The dream was so unstable that using my attack powers was getting too hard and this was wasting too much time, and so I started to fly away and I tried to do some other things.

I can not remember what else I did or if I got to try any other lucid dreaming goals or not, I just know that this unstable lucid dream lasted longer than I had expected, and it probably collapsed either when I could not fly high enough to avoid fighting or when maybe one or more of the dream characters possibly started to fly and attack me but I can not remember.

I just know that the dream collapsed and I woke up.

Dream 2

This dream is unclear and I possibly woke up and went back into the dream several times or dreams within dreams were involved or several back-to-back dreams that referenced previous dreams and / or each other happened.

I am not sure where or when this happened or any other details, I just remember Uma Thurman or a woman like her and maybe we talked, and maybe one or more previous dreams were mentioned.

Next I remember being at a slightly fictional version of my parents house during maybe the night, and my female coworker MA and her son showed up and possibly ended up spending the night.

The next morning I remember laying on a portable bed in the living room, and MA and her son entered the room.

I let them know that I was not sleep anymore and I started talking to them, maybe about one or more of my previous dreams, and then I got up and I went to a fictional bedroom that was connected to maybe a screened porch and I had a view to the outside of the yard near the automobiles and I could see the front yard and house of our neighbor Mr. RD.

I was maybe making up the bed and / or something when I noticed a large delivery truck in the yard of Mr. RD, and I saw two men wearing hard hats near it.

Then my dad drove up in our yard in his work truck, and then I noticed a long line of horseback riders wearing matching blue and white upper class-like and / or sport-like horse riding clothes and horse riding helmets who were lined up in Mr. RD’s yard all the way back along the street going back near the dead-end sign.

I wondered what was going on, I did not have privacy because of the windows, and so I tried to duck down while I finished cleaning or whatever.

Then I heard my dad talking to one or more people on the fictional screened porch connected to my room by a door, and then a Fred Rogers-like man with light-color skin (it was not him) entered the room that I was in.

Magically a small library was connected to this room now, we started talking as we looked at some short bookshelves, and I noticed some library receipts / printouts from when patrons checkout items that were either in a book or were on a shelf so I picked them up.

The printed text was clear and there were some initials written at the top of several of them, one was from the year 2013 and one from 2015 and one from 2016 and I am not sure about the others but at least one may have been from 2018, and I remember telling the man these printouts should have been noticed by whoever checked in the items and / or shelved them.

I started to state my hypotheses about what may have happened and I told him that I worked at a library as a shelver, but I woke up.

The end,

-John Jr

The Noise In Your Head

Source: YouTube

Last night before going to sleep I decided to take a quick glance online for online self-help resources for dealing with anxiety, and the first link that I clicked on in the search results was for The Anxiety And Depression Association Of America (ADDA) website.

I clicked on the Find Help page looking for links to online resources, and one was a link to a website called Noise In Your Head that had a free video series called The Noise In Your Head and a free PDF file of Tables And Figures by Reid Wilson PhD that goes along with his book Stopping The Noise In Your Head : The New Way To Overcome Anxiety And Worry.

The video playlist was short so I decided to watch it before going to sleep:

The videos were short and entertaining and well-done and gave some helpful tips, and I appreciate that these were free and I hope to start practicing these techniques.

Thank you Dr. Wilson.

I would also like to thank Lost Truth for inspiring me to try to work on this issue again, and so thank you very much Lost Truth. 🙂

*Update*

I am not sure what is going on or how long it will last but I applied some of the techniques in this video series today, and I have felt the least amount of anxiety in public today in as long as I can remember; it is amazing!

At work I felt the most comfortable that I have ever felt there since I started working there over a year ago, and I was able to walk around without feeling all self-conscious and uncomfortable and stiff and awkward and worried about being looked at et cetera!

It is like my subconscious turned itself down and / or I gained some control over it or something, but we will see how things go as I try to put myself in more uncomfortable situations to see what happens.

The end,

-John Jr

An Outdoor Auction

Source: Wikimedia Commons

I did not voice record my dreams each time that I woke up to use the bathroom, and so I forgot all of my dreams from last night except for barely part of the end of my last dream.

The dream took place during the day in a familiar fictional location in a slightly fictional version of the city of D that is sometimes in my dreams, this fictional location is located in a fictional version of a neighborhood that is not far from the D Junior High School, and sometimes in dreams I walk through this fictional location.

This fictional location had a storage building / shed in a small yard/field across from a building that is sometimes a local business like an antique shop or flea market or pawn shop or post office and/or something like that, and in dreams sometimes the building is closed and abandoned; and sometimes it is still open, but about to be closed and abandoned soon.

Usually there are nice people who work and shop there who know me because I often stop there sometimes to shop/visit them when I walk through the neighborhood, in this dream I visited them, but I can not remember this part of the dream; and later in the dream we had an outdoor auction in the yard/field by the shed.

Some of my former classmates were there like my former male classmate AM, his father Mr. M/my former baseball coach Coach M, the people who worked in the building, people who lived in neighborhood, and some other people were there for the outdoor auction.

Each item that was up for auction was shown one-at-a-time by a different person each time who would stand up and walk around with each item in front of the crowd who were mostly sitting down in chairs, and I was going to have to stand up and walk around showing off an item that was up for auction as well; and I was not comfortable with this because of me being shy and having social anxiety disorder and maybe generalized anxiety disorder, but I was going to try it anyway because we were probably trying to raise money to keep the building/store open/running.

I remember talking to my former classmate AM, his father Mr./Coach M, and other people in the crowd until it was my turn to stand up and walk around holding an item that was up for auction; and the item that I had to hold looked like a lunch / cafeteria tray with something on it (maybe food or fake food for decoration or something like that).

I remember being nervous/uncomfortable at first, I tried to stay calm, and slowly I started to become more comfortable as I walked around waiting for people to bid on the item; and eventually my fear/nervousness probably went away, and I started to have fun but that is all that I can remember of this part of the dream.

Somehow at the end of the dream I was in the yard/field with a small group of people with somewhat dirty whitish-colored skin with somewhat long hair who seemed to be from another time period, and they somewhat reminded me of characters from the History Channel television series Vikings because of how they dressed and acted.

Two of the people were brothers and one of the brothers was married I think, there was a woman among the group with maybe yellowish-colored hair who liked the married brother and she kept trying to get him to have sex with her but he kept refusing her, but his brother wanted to have sex with her but she was not interested in him which made him a bit jealous of his married brother.

The group of people were partying (drinking, talking, laughing, dancing, making out, probably having sex, and more) as I sat there feeling a bit awkward toward their wild partying ways/traditions/culture, and at some point the married brother either got drunk or somewhat lost consciousness; and then the woman who liked him used this as a chance to rape him.

His brother watched and did nothing thinking that his brother was lucky to get to have sex with the woman even though she was having sex with him against his will while he was unable to stop her (rape), and his brother asked her if he could either join in to have anal sex with the woman from behind as she raped his married brother and/or have sex with her after she was finished raping his married brother.

She let him join in and have anal sex with her and/or have sex with her after she was finished raping his married brother, I forgot to mention that the married brother’s wife was not around at the time, and so she was not there to stop this; but if she were to find out it was not going to be pretty because she was supposed to be a pretty good warrior.

I am not sure why I did not get involved exactly, maybe I was confused and not sure how their culture worked exactly, either way the married brother regained consciousness or the ability to move again; and his brother probably explained what happened to him, he was angry and he argued with his brother, but he was more worried about his wife finding out and he worried about what she would do about it.

The married brother probably also argued with the woman who raped him, he was so worried about what his wife would do if she found out that he told both of them to not tell anyone about what happened, but I woke up.

The end,

-John Jr

My High School Spanish Teacher Mrs. M? | My Aunts Talking About The V/H/S Films | John Luther Undercover

Dream 1

I forgot several of my dreams from last night but I do barely remember part of three dreams, all that I can remember of my first dream is that I think that it involved my former high school Spanish teacher Mrs. M, and she had her class / students with her.

I am assuming that maybe I was in this class and/or I was helping with this class but I am not sure if this was a Spanish class or a French class (because I am once again doing a bit of studying French on Duolingo again) or another type of class, and we were inside a windowless building.

A Dance And An Orphan And A Storm

Dream 1

I had several interesting dreams last night but I forgot most of them except for one or two dreams, I can not remember if it was one or two dreams, but I remember being in a dimly lit gym-like building at some point; and there were other people there.

I probably explored part of the building while meeting people as I explored the building, and at some point there was a dance at the building with music / food / bunk-bed-like furniture/drinks/et cetera.

I remember being on one of the bunk-bed-like furniture things with several other people, I started to use the bunk-bed-like thing to goof around doing some fake gymnastics/dance showing off my strength/balance/flexibility & to cover up my lack of dancing skills; and some people started to watch & be entertained, normally I would be too shy to ever dance or do anything like this, but I was having fun & I was not that nervous to my surprise.

I stopped at some point when I might have been interrupted by my family arriving and they might have had a female orphan with them who either they were going to adopt as my sister or they were temporarily taking care of her, either way I was going to treat her like a sister as long as she was living with my family, and so I stopped to greet them near a desk/bar-like area.

The orphan had very light brownish/whitish colored skin with interesting natural slightly shiny & dry & maybe slightly wavy & slightly wild-looking brownish/blackish colored hair that made a cool wild almost-afro-type hairstyle but I do not know what the hairstyle is called but I have seen it before, she probably was high school age(d), and she seemed to probably have a slight mental/physical/whatever handicap/disability that was only slightly noticeable.

I think that my family warned me about a terrible storm that was coming, it was already starting outside, and so we were going to try to get home before we got trapped at the gym-like building; and so we left.

Dream 2

Either a new dream started or the dream continued, and we barely made it home; and the weather was getting very bad once we got inside, it was worse than the hurricane a few years ago, and it was one of the scariest winds & one of the scariest realistic weathers that I have ever experienced in real life or a dream.

The orphan, who was a sister to me now in my mind, went into shock as the wind got so bad & loud that we feared that most of our house might get destroyed; and I told everyone to get to the hallway where there were no windows, but the orphan was having a breakdown/was in shock, and so I had to carry her to the hallway.

The wind was loud and through the window I saw trees bending like during the hurricane, I went around trying to make sure all the windows were closed as things outside were being thrown through the air by the wind, and I was afraid; and it felt real.

Even though I was afraid I focused on how to best help my family survive, after checking all the windows & making sure that everyone was in the hallway, I got two bed mattresses to block the two sides of the hallway for protection against debris flying if things got that bad, and I started trying to help the orphan calm down; but it was clear in my mind that this experience might scar her for life, and that she would need counseling later to help her get over the shock of what was to happen.

I am not sure if this is a daydream in the dream or if this is what happened later, but I remember a jump in time that did not show what had happened exactly during the rest of the storm, but it showed the orphan in the future scared emotionally/mentally from the experience of the storm; and I was still alive I think, but I am not sure about everyone else in my family.

The orphan was receiving counseling because she still was afraid of loud winds/storms, she still had bad dreams about the storm, and it probably caused her to have an anxiety disorder & a panic disorder; and I think that I came to visit her after one of her counseling sessions.

I am not sure if my family had adopted her or if she was still temporarily living with us, either way I still treated her like a sister regardless, and I was going to make sure that she got the help that she needed to help deal with her problems caused by the storm & the problems she had before the storm; but I woke up.

The end,

-John Jr

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