Autism – John Jr's Blog

I had a lot of pretty clear and detailed interesting dreams and I even had some lucid dreams including a wake induced lucid dream (WILD) but as usual I did not record some of my dreams and some were not recorded until later so dreams and details of dreams were lost and confused, the first three dreams below are possibly part of one dream but I am not sure, and so I will type them separately; and my lucid dreams were all connected because I woke up and went back into the lucid dream several times, and so I will type them as one dream.

Dream 1

This dream took place during the day and I was at my parent’s house, and I noticed movement inside the abandoned house but I could not see who or what it was so I walked outside.

I never could see who or what it was, but sometimes things were moved around like someone was possibly moving out stuff or something.

Across the field at The Action Packed House there were fictional windows at the back of the house, and I saw two unknown women with light-color skin inside the house like they were cleaning it up and clearing it out like maybe the people living there had either been arrested finally and / or kicked out and / or were moving.

My mom and maybe my brother GC walked outside and I told them what I saw, but that is all that I can remember of this dream as we talked and tried to figure out who or what was inside the abandoned house.

Dream 2

This dream or this part of the dream was inspired by the episode The Father Thing from the television show Philip K. Dick’s Electric Dreams that I watched before going to sleep:

I can not remember most of this dream now but it involved a smart boy who was very similar to the Charlie from The Father Thing episode, but he probably had autism.

The dream started when he was a very young boy, he had a mother and older sister who both had light-color skin, but I am not sure if his father was dead or gone or where he was.

There was something going on that I can not remember and the mother and sister tried to help the boy with whatever was going, and the dream jumped in time to the future when the boy was a bit older but he was still a boy.

The mother and sister went to talk to the boy, but he was different now and whatever they had done to help him in the past seemed to have turned him into something else.

The boy was still smart but he was very cold (distant and unemotional) and seemed to lack some human emotions, he told his mother and sister that he did not need them anymore and something else, and it seemed that he was going to go his own way and would probably become financially and intellectually successful but he was probably going to not have social relationships and probably would not even need them because it seemed that he just lacked certain emotions and that maybe he did not need much or any social interactions and relationships et cetera.

In a way he seemed to be a bit of a monster now, the mother’s and daughter’s help had help create something else, but that is all that I can remember of this dream other than the boy saying this to them while standing there with no emotions as his mother and sister probably were sad and maybe cried and he did not care at all.

Dream 3

I am not sure if this was a dream within a dream or not and there are other details that are unclear to me, and I just remember that it was day and a woman who was or who looked like Madison Clark from the television show Fear The Walking Dead was driving an old maybe brown SUV (sport utility vehicle) fast down a dirt road with many sharp turns through a post-apocalyptic-looking wasteland of mostly orange dirt and rocks and mountains and hills with maybe patches of plants here and there.

The woman seemed to have possibly just awakened or something, like she was from the past and had awakened in the future or something where things were different now and she was confused, and so she was in a panic driving fast and hitting sharp turns along the dirt road through the wasteland.

At some point she reached a small shack or house along the road so she stopped at it, there she met two women (mother and daughter) with light-color skin, and one claimed to be a queen and the other claimed to be a princess.

They told Madison that they had survived, but now they were living out here instead of the palace after an event that happened in the past but I am not sure how long ago this happened so I am not sure now long Madison was sleep or frozen or gone or whatever caused her to miss all of this and now know what was going on.

They told Madison that she had started the event, that she had started a fire, out here and that fire spread and burnt up a huge area which created the wasteland I assume.

Madison remembered starting a fire but had no idea that it accidentally had spread and did all of that, she had no memory of anything after that, but then I woke up into another dream or the dream jumped.

I was now sitting on a couch in a room in front of a television and BennettTheSage was there, what I had just saw was a movie that BennettTheSage and some of his classmates had made back when he was in public school still, and he started telling me about it as I asked questions because I was impressed with what I had seen so far.

He started playing the movie again explaining some of the cinematography et cetera, he showed the driving scene, and I remember it being filmed in first person at times so it felt like you were there for the sharp turns and the hard bumps.

We either continued watching the movie or I returned to the dream within a dream or the dream jumped, and in this version Madison was driving along the dirt road when she saw her daughter who had light-color skin with long medium-to-dark color hair so she stopped and got out to talk to her.

Marching up the road was the self-proclaimed queen and princess and a group of armed (probably just melee weapons) raider-looking people, and they all looked like characters from a Mad Max movie or from a Fallout video game except for the queen and princess who were wearing maybe white dresses but they had some dirt on them and some other things to make themselves look rougher and tougher.

The daughter told Madison that the queen and princess were not really the queen and princess, and that they just claimed to be and to not trust them and that they should leave before they get closer.

Madison wanted to talk to them but the daughter wanted to leave, they got closer to where it would be too late to run, but I woke up as they either passed by or were close to them.

Dream 4

This dream took place during late in the afternoon or early evening and I seemed to be in another city staying at a hotel with some other people including maybe some people from Rooster Teeth and maybe my brother GC, and maybe we had been out having fun et cetera when some of us returned to the hotel briefly.

Once back at the hotel most of them wanted to go out somewhere else, I possibly would have went but I had a doctor’s appointment to attend so I had to turn down the offer, and I remember them going to and near the bathroom to get ready to leave again while I looked at my stuff next to my bed trying to decide what to bring with me for my walk to the doctor’s office.

I assumed that everyone left, I decided to only bring two things with me instead of just taking my backpack like I wanted to, and I left for my walk to the doctor’s appointment.

Oddly I remember walking past an area that was basically a slightly fictional version of T Street in the city of D, in a field near a church was a small shopping center with a bench further to the right of it in the field, and I stopped there because I needed to decide if I should take the two items back to the hotel room and grab my backpack.

I decided to leaven the two items under the bench even though I did not want to and hope that they would still be there later, but then I turned around to get them and go back to the hotel room to leave them there and take my backpack instead.

Once back at the hotel room I realized that not everyone was gone to my surprise and Barbara Dunkelman or a woman who reminded me of her was still there, and she was taking a shower.

I needed to brush my teeth so I waited for her to finish, she finished and opened the door, and she was naked and standing in front of the mirror maybe drying off et cetera so I waited on my bed looking away trying to be a gentleman.

At some point she walked to the bed to my left, I thought that she would be dressed or would at least have a towel on now, but she was still naked to my surprise and her appearance had changed a bit to where she was a bit darker like Barbara with a bit of a tan but she was not Barbara anymore but looked somewhat like her and her butt was bigger and her breasts were smaller but I did not realize that her appearance had changed to a different person.

I looked away again as soon as I realized that she was naked, I was still trying to be a gentleman, and then she walked to the bathroom still naked again once again blocking me from being able to brush my teeth so I waited and maybe talked to the woman across the room as she was still inside the bathroom.

I am not sure if this happened next or during one of the times that I woke up from this dream and went back to sleep and returned to it, either way I will put it here, but I remember maybe my mom and my brother GC and an unknown man who may have been someone’s manager and possibly one or two other people entering the room briefly at least.

I briefly talked with them, they possibly mentioned some new movie role or something that someone in the group from earlier was getting, and then I told them about the woman in the shower and how she had some offers for some kind of entertainment work or something too; but that is all that I can remember of this part of the dream or one of them, and I am not sure where they went but what I remember next is being alone in the room again other than the woman still being in the bathroom.

I remember letting the woman know from across the room that I needed to brush my teeth and to let me know when she was finished because I had a doctor’s appointment, and then she told me that I could come into the bathroom and brush my teeth even though she was still in there; I asked her if she was sure about that, I was not comfortable with the idea and I hoped that she was dressed or had a towel on now, and eventually she convinced me to walk into the bathroom with her to brush my teeth.

Unfortunately she was still naked and standing in front of the mirror, I once again asked her if she was sure about this, and she once again assured me that it as okay; she seemed to be the laid back and relaxed type, and now her appearance had changed again to where she looked a bit different and her skin was now a light-medium color and maybe her butt was a bit bigger but I probably did not notice that she looked like a different person but I may have slightly noticed possibly changes each time that she changed but just assumed that maybe I was imagining things.

Once again I tried to be a gentleman and look away as I brushed my teeth while looking in the mirror, but in the corner of my eye or in the corner of the mirror she was there because she was standing to the right of me in front of the mirror too.

I was not comfortable, I was trying to be a gentleman, but I could still feel attraction and awkwardness and some other feeling or feelings that I can not describe between us as there was an awkward silence as I brushed my teeth.

At some point the pull of the feelings were too strong to ignore and we turned to look at each other to acknowledge that we both felt something, like do you feel that, and we both felt it and then maybe she leaned in to kiss me and we started kissing and making some physical contact with a bit of foreplay starting until I stopped and walked out of the bathroom trying to be a gentleman again as I realized that this was clearly going to go further.

I told her that we did not even know each other, we have not gotten tested for sexually transmitted diseases, we did not have any protection, et cetera so we should stop there and that people should not have sex under these conditions.

She laughed and countered each point that I kept bringing up with her own reasons why it was okay for us to have sex as she tried to convince me, and her thoughts were: that it was okay because we both adults and we wanted to or at least our bodies clearly wanted to, that she had chosen me, that I probably did not have any sexually transmitted diseases because I never had sex before, that pregnancy from this one time was not likely, that we did not need to know each other, and so it was okay.

I of course countered each of her points, she countered mine again, and then she ended by saying: What if this is a dream? It would not matter then right?.

I responded that she was correct and that it would not matter if this was a dream, and then I started to question if this was dream or not after she said this.

My mind was too cloudy to remember how to test if I was dreaming or not, I tried but I could not think clearly, but I felt that maybe this was a dream and I started to feel the dream destabilize once I felt this and I thought this so that was most of the proof that I needed so I told her that I think that this is a dream so it would probably be okay then so she wins.

The foreplay started again on the bed this time but the dream was collapsing because it was too unstable, I stopped to rub my hands together to stabilize the dream, this helped some and we started back but I felt that the dream was still too unstable so I stopped to spin around and then rub my hands which helped.

We started back but I did not take enough time to stabilize the dream, and so the dream started collapsing again after we started until I started waking up but I kept my eyes closed and I kept the blinking in and out image of the lucid dream in my mind with the intention to return to it and I was able to quickly fall back asleep and continue the dream almost immediately because it was blinking in and out as I kept it in my mind as my brain was trying to transition to being awake but I did not let it completely wake up I guess.

After almost immediately returning to the lucid dream it was super unstable so as the foreplay started back the dream was collapsing and blinking in and out, and I was moving back and forth between waking and dreaming trying to stay in the lucid dream; but I quickly lost the battle and I woke up.

I did not give up and I kept my eyes closed and I kept the image of the lucid dream in my mind along with my intention to return to it, and I managed to have a waked induced (initiated) lucid dream (WILD).

I returned to the hotel room and the lucid dream was still unstable but it was more stable than the last time, the woman was not there this time, and so I tried to summon her but the dream was too unstable and it was just stable enough for me to walk around the room looking for her and calling out to her and trying to summon her but then this WILD collapsed too and I finally gave up.

The end,

-John Jr

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