My Wife / Girlfriend Is Dying?

File:Operating theatre.jpg
Source: Wikimedia Commons

I forgot all of my dreams from last night except for barely part of one very interesting and detailed dream from last night, but unfortunately I can not remember most of this interesting dream; and unfortunately my memory of this dream is too unclear to properly represent how interesting and detailed this dream really was.

The dream took place in several different areas in a fictional neighborhood in a fictional city, the dream had a dream-like feeling/maybe look to it probably because I was sleeping pretty deeply, and so certain things about the dream does not make sense like: it was day or bright in some parts of the neighborhood, but it was evening or night or dark in one part of the neighborhood at the same time.

The dream involved different people and situations and I was in the dream as well but I can only barely remember part of two or three of these situations, one situation that took place later in the dream involved a mafia family, and the family (wife, kids, et cetera) of one of the head members of the mafia were riding in a van with their bodyguards in the bright/day parts of the neighborhood.

The family probably had whitish colored skin and maybe they spoke English with either an Eastern European accent or an Italian accent or another kind of accent but I could be wrong, and the neighborhood was a nice quiet neighborhood with houses/sidewalks/et cetera; but suddenly several automobiles blocked their path and surrounded them, and they assumed that it was a rival mafia there to kill or kidnap the family.

There was a tense standoff where the family thought that they would be shot to death but eventually the automobiles escorted them to a house somewhere in the neighborhood and an older man with whitish colored skin with whitish/grayish colored hair with a somewhat long beard stood in the doorway of the house looking out at them, and he seemed to be one of the leaders of their mafia and his family was probably the family in the van; and so this seemed to have been a test to see how his family and their bodyguards would react if attacked/surrounded by a rival gang and/or something like that.

The older man nodded at them and he said something to them and/or had someone send them a message, then they were sent on their way, and his wife or the woman with kids was not happy and she was angrily complaining about this test/whatever for several reasons like: it made it seem that he did not trust them, it made it seem like he was not sure if they were ready for a situation like that/this, and they really thought that they were going to die, et cetera.

The second situation/part of the dream (there were other situations/parts of the dream before these two parts, but I can not remember them unfortunately) took place on the dark or evening or night  or cloudy (in the sky maybe) somewhat dream-like part of the neighborhood in a strange area that was like a dark partly/mostly outdoor store/warehouse with rows of tall shelves combined with a small outdoor hospital with nurses/doctors combined with a junkyard combined with a small neighborhood park combined with a few other things, and this area was somewhat walled off (probably by shelves and/or something else) with one open entrance to the street and sidewalks I think.

In this area were some of my family (my mom, my dad, and maybe some of my brothers), maybe some of my family members (maybe a few aunts, uncles, cousins), maybe a few of my former classmates and/or people I know, probably fictional people from the neighborhood, nurses/doctors/patients, et cetera.

The second situation probably involved me visiting with my family/people in the area that was closest to the entrance where there were tables/chairs/et cetera, and exploring the various parts of this dark area and the various objects/things in this area; and so I got to see and probably even help some nurses/doctors in the hospital area, and I explored the various shelves and other areas in this dark area.

One part of this dark area that I can somewhat remember other than some of the rows of shelves having hospital areas is that there was a corner area on the back left side that I went to several times and I liked this area (it felt like a nice/safe hiding spot), it was a nice quiet area that you could use to quickly get to the area where my family/other people were or you could quickly get to the hospital area or you could quickly explore other areas, but unfortunately that is all that I can remember of this part of the dream.

The third/last situation/part of the dream took place in the dark area as well after I walked back to where my family and the others were, and a woman with whitish colored skin with probably reddish colored hair or orangish colored hair was with them now (maybe she was there earlier but I can not remember); and we warmly greeted each other and we were happy to see each other, and I think that she was my wife or my girlfriend who I was going to marry soon.

I am assuming that she was my wife but I could be wrong, either way I will refer to her as my wife even though I am not sure if that is correct or not, and my wife seemed to get along well with my family and the other people there; and they seemed to like her, and I remember being glad that she was there.

I wanted to take my wife on a tour of the dark area to show her the various areas that I explored, I was excited and I knew that exploring the areas with my wife would be even more exciting than when I explored them alone, and we probably held hands and walked closely as I told her about my adventures so far.

My memory and my memory of my feelings are too unclear now but I think that I felt a close connection with my wife and I really enjoyed spending time with her, and she enjoyed spending time with my family/the others.

At some point we walked to my favorite area in the corner and I think that a female friend of my wife walked over to talk with her so I started to walk away to give them some privacy, but then my wife collapsed to the ground; and her friend and I rushed to help her, but I could not feel her pulse like her heart stopped or her pulse was so low that I could not feel it and I remember feeling terrible at the thought of my wife dying.

I yelled for help because we were close to the hospital-like area and I ran to find some nurses/doctors who I probably helped earlier in the dream, a female nurse and a high level female nurse or doctor with dark brownish colored skin with blackish colored hair came to help, and the high level nurse or doctor did not have her equipment with her; and so she was going to try to hook up something to my wife to help pump/filter her blood and/or something like that because her heart had stopped or it was beating too slow.

On the wall or shelf near my wife was a small radiator-like thing that was possibly part of a running air conditioner or something like that, the nurse/doctor was going to connect it to my wife to pump/filter her blood, but she needed water; and so I ran as fast as I could with an empty paint bucket and an empty ice cream bucket to get some water in the hospital area and I was doing whatever I could to help save my wife’s life (the part when I was rushing to get water was terrible as I thought about my wife possibly dying, and I was moving as fast as I could to get the water).

When I ran back with the water my wife’s friend told me that more nurse/doctors came with a stretcher/equipment and they took my wife to the emergency room to try to save her life (I wondered if the nurse/doctor sent me to get water so that I would not have to see them take my wife away because she knew that I would want to go inside the operating room and/or she did not want me to suffer any more than I already have and/or she wanted me to feel like I was helping), I wanted to go in there, but no one was allowed; and so my wife’s friend and I walked to tell my family/the others about the situation, and to wait for news about my wife’s condition from the nurses/doctors.

My family/the others were very supportive as we waited for news from the nurses/doctors (one of the others was a bald man with light-medium brownish colored skin who was a rapper or boxer (Floyd Mayweather, Jr.?) or someone from Eastside, and he even gave me a strong hug as a sign of support), the waiting was terrible and I kept replaying the situation in my mind and thinking about the various possibilities, and this was like torture; and I kept wishing/hoping that my wife would survive, and some of my family/the others prayed for her/me.

I could not even sit down so I kept walking/pacing around the area (this part of the dream was pretty realistic, and I was so over-whelmed that I did not know what to do or how to react), I kept on pleading/hoping/wishing/et cetera that my wife would not die, and the thought of her dying so soon felt so cruel because after all of these years/most of my life I had finally got married/finally found someone who I loved and they loved me/we were happy/my family liked her/et cetera but she was possibly going to die/be taken away so soon; but I woke up.

The end,

-John Jr

11-5-2013 | Dream Journal | Signing Up For Mental Health Counseling

Institute of Mental Health 8, Nov 06.JPG
Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

I remember part of one interesting dream from last night that felt a bit strange compared to a normal/average dream and/or I felt a bit strange in the dream in a way or ways that I can not describe in words but it was still realistic enough for me to not realize that I was dreaming, but my memory of it is somewhat unclear in a few parts because I wasted time today trying to solve a computer problem (experimenting with upgrading from a Ubuntu Linux LTS (Long-Term Service) Release to a Ubuntu Linux Normal Release to see how reliable upgrading is, but the system failed to boot afterward like GRUB got corrupted or something like that so it was not reliable as possibly expected; and so I am testing ways to fix this so that I can help people with this problem in the future who have Ubuntu Linux installed and/or I will try another operating system like Linux Mint Debian instead to see if it is a better alternative) instead of recording or thinking about my dream; and so parts of this dream will be missing.

I remember being in a multi-story building on the first floor and for some unknown and/or known reason(s) I think that I was there to sign up for mental health counseling for help with anxiety and depression again and down one of the hallways there was an office that was probably behind half or mostly glass walls/windows on the left, on the right there was an office that you could walk inside where most of the office space in the room was behind a large wooden desk that probably had some sliding glass windows at the top to protect the workers, and this large desk probably blocked you from walking into the rest of the office.

I think that this part of the building or this building was supposed to be the D Mental Health Clinic even though it looked nothing like it and it was way bigger than it, there were more parts to this building that made it seem like this was the mental health clinic area but maybe there was a hospital in the building as well and some other types of areas that I did not get to see but I am not sure, and through some of the glass parts of the shared wall with the office on the left I saw my former mental health counselor Mrs. J standing near a desk alone; and the office on the left was larger than the office on the right and it had more desks, but I only remember seeing my former counselor Mrs. J in the office and so I assumed that the other workers were on their lunch breaks or something like that.

I hoped that my former mental health counselor Mrs. J would not see me as I walked to the office on the right that had an open door and so I tried to hide behind the non-glass parts of the wall as I stood in the doorway of the office on the right, I saw several female workers in the office on the right who all might have had whitish colored skin with long brownish and blackish and blondish colored hair but one of the them might have had brownish colored skin with blackish colored hair, and I told one of the female workers that I wanted to sign up for counseling for help with anxiety and depression and I told her that I had received counseling here before back in 2011 (I probably felt like it was time to get some help again finally, and I hoped that I would get some real/helpful/effective counseling/help this time because that is what I probably need to help me move forward).

A Medical Clinic / House

Source: Wikimedia Commons

I had a variety of dreams that I had remembered from last night but I forgot those due to being awakened by someone being annoying and I had to wait for them to leave before I could go back to sleep, and then I had a dream; and I remember part of that dream, but I forgot all the other dreams before it after the annoyance earlier.

The dream took place during the day in a fictional area and I went to what looked like a one floor house, and the inside was like a house that was being used as a medical clinic; but I am not sure why I went there.

There were at least three doctors and a variety of mostly/if not only female nurses.

One doctor was my doctor Dr. SW, another doctor was named something like Dr. Wong who wore glasses and he was from somewhere in Asia (Asian), and the third doctor was probably from India (Indian) or Pakistan (Pakistani) with brownish colored skin with short shiny black colored hair.

Dr. Wong seemed to be the head doctor with Dr. SW second in charge, and the third doctor did not seem to even have a rank or matter much & he seemed less professional but he seemed to be nice & a bit goofy / fun.

I was in a living room area that was a bit like a waiting room as Dr. Wong was going over medical stuff and/or finishing up a patient, Dr. SW was reading a medical journal, the third doctor was goofing around with a Science magazine trying to make a paper airplane, and the nurses were doing various things.

I remember the third doctor started talking to me about an article in the Science magazine that gave directions on how to build a paper airplane that could fly for a very long time, and he was trying to make it and explain how it works to me at the same time; and he was very focused/interested in making it and explaining it to me, and Dr. SW walked over to watch & give his opinion.

But then the doors to the house/medical clinic burst open and a group of people who looked like they were from Dr. Wong’s country & they spoke his language & they knew him & they asked for him to help, came in helping an attractive woman with yellowish/whitish colored skin with long shiny black colored hair, and she was having a medical emergency; my guess was that she was having a baby, but I was not sure.

All three doctors and most of the nurses loaded the woman on a stretcher and they took her to the operating room/main medical room, and they closed the doors; and her family waited in the waiting room still in a bit of shock/panic, some crying, some speaking in another language, and some trying to comfort the others.

A few of the nurses decided to help calm the family and everyone in the waiting room by inviting us all to the kitchen/dining room, and they started to serve food & drinks for everyone; and my former classmate BF and some of his family came, and they started to get some food & drinks too.

I remember talking to BF a bit about what we both have done in the many years since we both graduated from high school since I had not seen him since then, but he was not smiling and it seemed that he was not feeling good and/or he was a bit depressed or something like that; and so I only talked with him briefly.

The mood started to improve a bit and some of the nurses probably gave the woman’s family regular updates on how the woman was doing, and maybe Dr. Wong himself talked with them briefly; and they seemed to know Dr. Wong very well, they might have even been some of his family members.

I never did find out what was wrong with the woman, my guess in the dream was that she was having a baby, but I woke up before ever getting to find out.

The end,

-John Jr 🙂

Having Blood Taken By / Being Tested By Scientists / Doctors / SWAT / Vampire Authority-Looking People?

Last night I had several short dreams, I had one or more false awakenings that made me think that I had typed my dreams but I was really still sleep, so some of those dreams I will probably not be able to remember or I will not remember much of them.

Dream 1

The first dream that I can remember took place in an office-like room that felt hidden in a building at a job of some kind that had two long tables that were back-to-back or connected that had partial dividers, and between each partial divider was a desk area with computer/electronics/work equipment for each worker.

My wild guess is that it was either a job for a business or a secret government/intelligence office or something, but who knows?

For some reason I might have had two desk areas, because I was organizing two desks, and trying to pack up the things that were mine so that I could leave; I guess that I was leaving the job for some reason, but I am not sure.

When I was almost done packing my stuff a group of people entered the office room from the left side of the building where the front desk was and there were SWAT team-looking people with assault rifles & body armor, some people who looked like members of the Vampire Authority from the TV show True Blood (I am not sure who or what they were, they looked like normal high level people (men & women) dressed up, but for some reason they reminded me of the Vampire Authority from True Blood but I am not sure who they were or what organization/government/intelligence agency they were representing), and some scientist/doctor-looking people.

They told everyone to not move & to put our hands where they could see them, and for some strange reason they walked across the room to me first even though I was across the room; and all of this seemed pretty realistic and my body was in a bit of a fight-or-flight response, so I was a bit scared & so were the other workers in the dream.

The SWAT team-looking people pointed their guns in/at my face while some of the scientist/doctor-looking people used various medical/scientific devices on me/to test me, as the Vampire Authority-looking people watched.

I remember that a female scientist/doctor used a device that might have pricked my finger to test some of my blood & it might have scanned my finger prints, she ran a device over/near my head/skin that probably tested my body & skin temperature & oxygen levels/et cetera & scanned my face/eyes & I remember her telling the Vampire Authority-looking people that my temperature or something was rising, she also said that my pulse was 111 – 120 or higher & rising & that my blood pressure was rising or something like that.

I joked/told them that was a natural fear reaction to having people point assault rifles in my face, I tried to joke sometimes to help myself feel better & to pretend that I was not so scared, but I had to be careful to not move much to avoid getting shot by the SWAT team-looking people & my jokes were met with silence & neutral facial expressions from the people; and so I had my hands in the air, I stayed still mostly, but I tried to look out of the corner of my eyes to see what the scientist/doctor people were doing to me.

I remember the female doctor/scientist person seemed to be worried about my elevated pulse, blood pressure, temperature, et cetera/whatever; but the Vampire Authority-looking people told her something like: “Do it anyway!” or “Just do it!”

She replied: “But…..” *And then she started to do whatever it was that they commanded.*

I remember joking/asking if I could pull up my pants/shorts, because my underwear was showing, but either they did not respond or they said no (and they never said who they were or what they wanted or why they were there); and then the female doctor/scientist poked a needle into the side of my butt, and I could feel the needle & the pain felt realistic.

At first I thought that they were taking another blood sample and/or injecting me with something, but she did not take the needle out; and so I looked out the corner of my eyes, and I saw that the needle was connected to a cord or something that might have been connected to an empty blood bag or something, like they were going to take one or more bags of blood and/or they were injected me with a bag of something.

Either way, I knew that it would take a while and I hate needles/blood taking, especially if it is not quick, and so I started to panic a bit; and I asked them what they were doing to me and what did they want from me in a slightly panicked voice, but they did not answer me.

I started to get my real world negative reactions to needles/blood taking, this all felt real & I could feel the needle in the side of my butt & a bit of pain, and I probably let out an angry/panic/struggling yell/shout/sound of resistance; but then I suddenly woke up during this panic.

I woke up at 6:00 AM or 6:Something AM still feeling everything for a second or two, I was hot, I was uncomfortable, my body was in a slight panic, I heard a loud voice or voices outside but I could not see who or what it was in the dark without my glasses, and I heard dogs barking at something outside for a while; and I later found out that the phone & the internet was down/not working at my house or for the neighborhood, strange.

Dream 2

I had another dream that I can barely remember that took place at a hotel/restaurant/bar/club/store/something else; and I remember exploring the building, but you had to have something/show something that I can not remember to enter the building/get past the front desk.

I remember sitting down eating/drinking, listening to/watching a musical and/or comedy performance and/or film and/or people dancing; and I remember talking to a few people.

I left the building and came back a few times, but I can not remember the details.

I remember that there was a main lobby area in the building with a sunken area that had some nice furniture/fountains/plants/et cetera, and there were people dressed up talking/drinking/et cetera.

I remember going to the front desk a few times, but that is all that I can remember.

Dream 3

I had another dream that took place at a school/college, class was being let out for the day, and I was walking through the hall like everyone else; and I noticed my former classmate BR & his girlfriend walking in the hall as well.

A very short man was also walking in the hall and he accidentally bumped into BR’s girlfriend or something like that, and BR got mad; and BR punched the short man (no offense, I am using this since I do not know the man’s name) in the face, kept his fist in his face, while pushing him backward with his fist.

I told BR to leave the short man alone and that it was probably an accident, I went to see if the short man was okay & he was okay but he was embarrassed, and then everyone started to walk off.

I apologized to the short man for BR’s actions and for me not helping sooner, I told BR that he was wrong for doing that to the short man, but that is all that I can remember.

Dream 4

I had another dream where I went to visit my former classmate DH at his parent’s house in D and his mom, his aunt, and him were outside.

DH’s mom told him to drive his aunt somewhere and I went with them, DH drove, and I remember DH talking about how he had a date soon with a woman who was not his girlfriend; and how he hoped that his girlfriend did not find out about the date.

His aunt and I told DH that was wrong for him to be cheating on his girlfriend, and we told him to cancel the date with the other woman.

I was surprised that DH told us this, especially with his aunt there, and I was surprised that DH would do something wrong like that; but he did not seem to care.

As DH’s aunt and I tried to convince DH that he was doing something wrong, I woke up.

I had some more dreams, probably false awakenings where I was typing my dreams, but that is all that I can remember at this time.

The end,

-John Jr 🙂

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