I did not voice record my dreams each time that I woke up, and so I forgot most of my dreams except for barely part of two dreams from last night.
Dream 1
All that I can remember of this dream from last night is that I was sorting and setting up a cart of films/movies like at my shelver job at The BP Library, and as I was doing this I would look at the labels and titles and covers of each film; and I would daydream and/or have a dream within a dream about an overview of each film that I put in its correct order.
Sometimes I probably would just be watching the overview of each film acted out, but at other times I was acting out these overviews of each film as an actor in the films.
To make things even more confusing I remember some of these overviews of films involving a woman with brownish-color skin who was the leader of something (maybe a country or kingdom or something like that), and she always had a female assistant with her.
I am not sure which of these is correct but I would possibly see her acting out some of these overviews of these films and/or I would see things from her point of view and/or sometimes I was her, but I can not remember.
But that is all that I can remember of this dream.
Dream 2
All that I can remember of this dream is that I was talking with my brother CC, I am not sure what we were talking about, but I do remember disagreeing with my brother CC and explaining why he was wrong about whatever the topic was.
I knew more about the topic than him and so I tried to educate him on it, it was a good conversation, but that is all that I can remember of this dream.
I only remember three parts of/from my last dream from last night which was a somewhat long and confusing dream that does not make much sense now, and all that I remember of the first part of the dream is that it took place inside a one-story mental health hospital and I was there for some unknown reason(s) (maybe to sign up for help/mental health counseling).
The character Dandy Mott from the television show American Horror Story: Freak Show was being held in the back area of the hospital in the area where the most dangerous and most unstable patients go, he was in the hospital instead of being in prison for the many murders that he committed because the court found him not mentally fit to be in prison, but in my opinion that was a huge mistake because he was too dangerous to be at the hospital because it was not secure enough.
Dandy had a nice large room that was somewhat like his room on the television show but even larger, they would lock him in it and they would escort him out briefly each day for various activities, most of the areas of the hospital were in a straight line down one hall with many doors on both sides of the hall; and each section of the building was separated by a locked door to separate/secure each section if someone escaped their locked rooms.
The rooms and sections of the hospital closer to the front of the hospital were temporary rooms that were not locked and they were for people being briefly hospitalized for minor mental health problems, and the rooms closest to the front of the hospital were for brief counseling sessions and medical appoints and medicine pickups and the workers/doctors/nurses/and more.
I remember being in the lobby at the front of the hospital when I heard some workers talking about what I think was about murders that had been slowly taking place at the hospital, I assumed that it was Dandy committing the murders and I tried to warn them about him and that this hospital was not secure enough to stop/hold him, but they did not think that it was possible for him to have committed the murders and they did not believe me; but they did let me help by talking to Dandy, and then escorting him back to his room.
I was alone with Dandy trying to convince him to change and stop murdering people and to not escape the hospital because I was afraid that he was trying to escape at first, he admitted to being the one behind the murders, and that he was manipulating the workers and he was slowly taking control of the hospital; and he seemed to be enjoying himself, and he was trying to manipulate and control me as well and he treated this like a game almost like he enjoyed finally having someone trying to stop him.
It seemed that he was not going to kill me while he was still enjoying having a challenger/competition but he would probably kill me eventually once he won and/or once he stopped having fun, when I walked him back to his room we talked/debated/and more, and then I left and I locked his door so that he could not escape; but I wondered how would I stop him because he was slowly taking over the hospital, and he mostly controlled it already (it seemed that he could escape if he wanted to but he did not want to escape because he could continue to murder people without suspicion because people assumed that it was impossible for him to do it while locked up in a mental hospital, and so he was going to control the mental hospital and its workers and use it as cover to continue murdering and getting away with it).
I worried that he was already manipulating and controlling me in ways that I did not realize yet, that he was too smart/cunning/and more for me to defeat, but that is all that I can remember of this part of the dream.
Part 2
The second part of the dream took place outside in a fictional area with mountains and canyons and some tall artificial structures that you could climb on for a better view of the area, I was there with some of my family and a class like we were on a field trip, and we climbed up on one of the tall structures for a good view of the area; and my mom decided to start a Spanish language class up there after we finished enjoying the view so that we could practice learning/using some Spanish before climbing back down.
We were dangerously high up with no guard rails so if you fell you would probably die, especially if you fell in the canyons below even if you fell in one of the shallow rivers, but there was a nice view of two kingdoms/countries that were separated by the canyons; but I could not really enjoy any of this because I was extremely afraid of being up so high, and this felt very realistic.
I could not stand or climb down and I felt off-balanced and trapped and I experienced the strong mental blocks that I often get in various situations that are connected with my social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and maybe more; and so I could not do anything but be terrified and be trapped holding on for my life, and it felt terrible as many thoughts went through my mind and I felt many strong emotions as I struggled trying to get through the fear and mental blocks so that I could climb back down.
I did briefly distract myself by telling my mom that I rather we do a French language class instead of a Spanish language class before climbing back down but she still planned to do the Spanish language class, I can not remember if I ever was able to climb back down or not, and that is all that I can remember of this part of the dream.
Part 3
The third/last part of the dream continued from shortly after the second part of the dream, I was on the ground again but alone and I came across a small army of men (no more than twenty) and their male leader from the country/kingdom on the left side of the canyons, and they had old-style armor and mêlée weapons oddly; and this somewhat reminded me of a combination of the film 300 and the television who Game Of Thrones because how they looked, dressed, acted, and spoke.
They were on their way to try to find maybe a special relic/object that would finally give their country/kingdom the power/advantage that they needed to finally win the war with the country/kingdom on the right side of the canyons, both kingdoms had been in an endless war, and both sides had struggled for the relic/object so that they could finally win the war/end the war.
The original male leader/male entity who was the leader of the kingdom on the left side had been killed long ago but somehow it seemed that he or his spirit/ghost would always possess/combine with/fuse with the next person to replace him, there were always assassins/spies/and more from the kingdom on the right side who would kill each new leader, and so it was a constant cycle of war and struggle for the relic and assassinations with a new leader instantly being made by the next person in charge being possessed by/combined with/fused with the original male leader/male entity.
The leader kept giving grand speeches as I followed them on their journey up a mountain to get the relic, his second in charge was a man with a partial leather mask or helmet and there was a third in charge but I can not remember what he looked like, but I think that all of them had dark-whitish-colored skin or it was just the dirt on their skin that made them seem a bit darker.
The second in charge ended up being an assassin/spy from the kingdom on the right side and he stabbed the leader and the leader stabbed him with his sword, they both died, and the third in charge instantly became the new leader and it seemed that the original male leader/male entity possessed him/combined with him/fused with him because he instantly started to talk a bit differently and he continued giving grand speeches like nothing had happened.
So each new leader was really the original male leader/male entity in a way but just combined with whoever the new leader was so each new leader was only slightly different and they all had the same goal/mission, and the war/struggle/and more continued; but this time the other soldiers stopped in confusion/fear after witnessing the assassination, they feared that they would all die in this same way before reaching the relic, and so the cycle would never end.
They and I wondered how was there always a new spy/assassin among them magically, I started to assume that there was another male spirit/ghost/entity who was probably the original leader of the kingdom on the right side, and the he would possess/combine with/fuse with a new person each time that an assassin/spy would die; and so the cycle never ended, and this war and struggle for the relic was really a war/struggle between two probably male entities/spirits/ghosts who were rivals using the living as pawns to achieve their goal/mission.
I wanted no part in this and it was clear that this struggle/war/cycle would not end anytime soon and that it would mean my death (all of our deaths) if I continued with them, so I told them this, and I walked back down the mountain; but I woke up.
The first dream is a bit unclear but I know that it took place during the day in a fictional place and I probably went to a nice one-story house to look for a certain unknown object that I can not remember that was being sold with other items by the family who owned the house, like a garage sale that someone (maybe my mom) told me about, but everyone was gone from the house except the daughter who seemed to be based on my former classmate CW except that she had medium-length medium brownish colored hair and there were several other minor differences between them but I am not sure if she was supposed to be my former classmate CW or not.
Unfortunately I can not remember most of the dream and so it is unclear, it seemed that we both were younger again maybe 18 -21 years old but I could be wrong, and I remember being interested in getting to know the daughter better; and I managed to convince her to let me look around for the unknown item that I was looking to buy from them, even though the rest of her family were gone (her parent’s and her younger sister and/or brother), and so she took me to a garage/room-like area of the house where her family sold things that they no longer needed/wanted.
I got awakened by my alarm clock that I forgot to unset and so it awakened me out of a dream causing me to jump out of bed to turn it off, and so I forgot some of my dreams and some parts of the three dreams that I can barely remember; and so I will start with the two very unclear dreams first.
Dream 1
The first unclear dream probably took place during the day, I think that my former classmate JC was in the dream, and I remember a dog being in the dream that was either one of my brothers dogs or an unknown dog; but all that I can remember of this dream is talking to the dog (who could not talk back of course).
Dream 2
The second unclear dream took place during the day in a fictional area outside in a fictional unknown place and there were several people outside with me, but the only people I remember somewhat clearly is an unknown man with whitish colored skin and the actor Idris Elba.
The unknown man with whitish skin needed a haircut and so I cut his hair for him, and then I noticed that Idris Elba had some extra hair growing on his forehead and he/his hair needed a hair line up because it looked like he had not had one in a while; and so I mentioned this to him, but oddly he did not know what a hair line up was and so I explained it to him.
I told him that I would line up his hair for him, cutting the extra hair growing on his forehead as well, and he agreed to let me line-up his hair; but time was about up (whatever that meant), and so he said that he wanted to wait until tomorrow and I agreed but I woke up or that is all that I can remember of this dream.
Dream 3
The third/last dream started during the evening or night in a fictional area in a fictional city outside/inside an abandoned garage/firefighter station-like building, and a younger Britney Spears (about the age when she got popular in music) was there leading a group of other people about her age and I approached them.
This dream was supposedly a continuation of either a false/fake memory of a past dream or a real dream from years ago that I probably never typed, this dream world and situation was familiar to me, and I had my memories or false memories of the past dream; and so I knew the situation, and it left off from my memory or false memory of the last dream of this dream world.
From my past memories or false past memories this dream world took place during a zombie apocalypse I guess you could say, many people were dead and/or gone/hiding/had left the city, and this group of people, who were all about the same age had come together trying to survive in the ruins of the city; and they would sometimes pick a leader to help lead/organize this group, and they would vote on a new leader sometimes.
This group had Britney Spears, one or more members of NSYNC, several other celebrities who(m) I can not remember, maybe one or more people I knew, and several unknown people in the group; and in my memories of the last dream the abandoned garage/firefighter-like station used to be their original hideout but it got attacked by zombies, they then moved into an abandoned one-story building next to them and made it their new hideout but it got attacked by zombies also, then they moved to an underground part of the building and made it their new hideout but it got attacked by zombies also, and then they moved back to the abandoned firefighter-like station again but that past dream ended there.
From that past dream I remember some of the parts of that dream that took place in the underground part of the building where they had their third hideout, they felt safer there and they were more hopeful there, but if the zombies attacked they would only have one escape point and they might get trapped if zombies were blocking it.
That past dream showed the various struggles of the group trying to organize themselves, dealing with social issues among themselves, and trying to survive during a zombie apocalypse; but their third hideout underground was attacked, some of them probably died, but the group survived and moved back to their first hideout.
Now my dream from last night left off from that point and Britney Spears had been chosen as the new leader, and she was working hard trying to organize the group; and things were going well with no zombie attacks in a while, but this made the group too relaxed except for Mrs. Spears.
Most of the group was so relaxed now that they did not even have weapons anymore, they were starting to get lazy also, and so they were not listening to Mrs. Spears very much because the leader position was more of an informal position lacking true power (it was more like an advisor position for the group or organizer position); and they seemed to think that most or all of the zombies were dead or gone now, but Mrs. Spears kept trying to get them to take the zombie threat seriously again but it was not working.
I watched this quietly from a distance, I was impressed by Mrs. Spears and I agreed with her to my surprise, and Mrs. Spears suggested that they check & prepare their other hideouts in case their current hideout was attacked again; and she tried to get some of her group to go with her to the underground hideout to check it out, but no one would go with her and so she left alone.
It was almost night or it was night and so it was somewhat dark or mostly dark at this point, I walked over to the rest of the group talking with them about the situation trying to help them by reinforcing Mrs. Spears advice, and I suggested that they get weapons again; and that they go help Mrs. Spears because it was too dangerous for her to go alone, and I offered to go with them but they were not listening to me either at first.
I started looking for weapons so that I could go looking for Mrs. Spears but I could not find any weapons, while I continued to search time passed, and the group started to worry about Mrs. Spears when she did not return; and so they finally formed a team to go help find Mrs. Spears and to search the underground hideout, and I joined them to help them with the search even though I never could find any weapons (so the situation was even more dangerous/risky now).
We started searching the one-story building for Mrs. Spears, zombies, and weapons at first; and then we were going to go to the underground part of the building to search, but we wanted to clear the above-ground part first.
It was dark and scary inside the building as we searched, but I woke up before we finished even searching half of the building for Mrs. Spears, zombies, and weapons.
I barely remember part of one long dream that seemed to take place in a dream world from a past dream that I might have never typed before or I had false memories of having dreamed of this dream world before, either way some of the dream characters seemed to have remembered me from a past dream of this dream world, and the dream took place in the same building from the past dream or false memory which reminded me of the old abandoned PL Grocery Store/general store combined with a recreational/club-like building where people can hang-out.
In the past dream or false memory of this dream world I think that I entered the building, and several gangs controlled territory in the building; and each gang tried to get me to join them, but I kept refusing.
I think that the most violent and powerful gang & their leader tried to recruit me, I turned them down as well, and so their leader probably got angry & he probably tried to have me murdered; and so I probably fought to survive, I survived, and I might have eventually killed their leader in combat.
This would have made me the new leader but I probably refused the job/position, and I probably told the gang to break-up/stop being a gang & go help the world; but I am not sure if they did or not, but that is what I think happened in the past dream of this place or my false memory of this place.
In last night’s dream I entered the building seeing several groups of people hanging out in sitting areas at the front of the building, the middle of the building had some of the old grocery/general store parts, and the back of the building was separated with its own wall like the back of the store where boxes/stuff were stored except that this area was bigger & had its own store parts/areas & hang-out areas/rooms & this is where most of the gangs were.
Some of the dream characters seemed to remember me and all the gangs once again wanted me to join them, I guess I was a hero/well-known for having survived against the most violent & powerful gang & I defeated/killed their leader, and so I had gang members trying to bribe me/beg me/intimidate me into joining their gangs.
Some of the gangs even sent spies to spy on me & the other gangs to see what they would offer me to join and to see which gang I would join, but I kept refusing to join any of the gangs again; but they kept trying.
The most violent & powerful gang & their leader tried to get me to join them, their leader sent one of his gang members who looked like Tate Langdon from the TV series American Horror Story: Murder House who reminds me of someone trying to look a bit like the singer Kurt Cobain to try to get me to join their gang, and Tate seemed like a weak but nice guy; but I refused their offer, and so Tate returned to the leader of his gang with the news.
The leader of their gang, which was the most violent & powerful gang, got very angry & he probably sent Tate & some other of his gang members to intimidate me or kill me; and Tate did not like the leader of his gang & was probably often bullied by him, and Tate seemed to have a split personality or hid his true self.
Normally Tate seemed like a weak but nice guy, but his true self or part of him was crazy/violent/evil/et cetera; and this side of him came out or he finally stopped hiding it, and instead of following his leaders orders to intimidate or kill me he decided to assassinate the leader of his gang.
I guess Tate felt that trying to kill me now was too risky/likely to fail and was a waste of time/talent, so he decided that he would kill the leader of his gang & then he would be the new leader & he would start defeating some of the other gangs to control more territory & get more gang members before trying to deal with me, and so he went to a group of people hanging out in the front of the building who had briefly talked with me/threatened me earlier in the dream who seemed dangerous to me & I did not trust them.
This group of people were a gang who only controlled part of the front of the building in the lobby, so they were not a major gang & they did not look like a gang & they did not have their own area in the back of the building like the major gangs, but they looked dangerous like a combination of members of white supremacist racist groups / militia groups / hunters / a few former soldiers / et cetera who also used chewing tobacco.
Tate either killed the leader of his gang before going to this gang or after getting this gang to join him, either way Tate got this gang to join him to combine his gang and their gang, and after Tate killed the leader of his gang & became the new leader the members of that small gang became his main gang members in their new combined gang.
Tate and his new larger gang then started killing some of the leaders of other gangs, and destroying some of the other gangs breaking the mostly peaceful balance between the gangs; and Tate no longer acted like a weak but nice guy, and he acted very crazy/violent/evil/et cetera.
Some of the survivors of some of the defeated gangs & members of the former weakest/most peaceful gang whose leader was recently killed and some non-gang members who were afraid of Tate & his gang, decided to have a meeting to form a new gang, and they forced/tricked me into the meeting; and they tried to force me to be the leader of their new gang by all voting me as their new leader, but I refused.
I told them that they should not form a gang using my usual reasons and because Tate & his gang would be more likely to kill/attack them if they started a new gang, because Tate wanted to control more territory/gang members/et cetera, and so he was defeating/destroying anyone/any gang in his way; but they would not listen to me, and a man from the former weakest/most peaceful gang became the leader of this new gang.
I left the meeting which took place on the right side of the building in the back area where the major gangs have territory, outside of the room I saw a man with whitish colored skin with short length hair standing guard facing an opening from the back side that led to the meeting room, and outside the door to the front of the building was a woman with dark brownish colored skin with black colored medium length hair standing guard; but I noticed that neither of them were properly positioned or prepared for an attack, and there were not enough of them so I gave them some recommendations.
I told them that having armor & weapons might be a good idea, that they needed at least one or two more people standing guard with someone watching the man’s back facing the door that led to the front of the building & someone guarding the door to the meeting room from behind cover or behind the door, I told the woman that she should stand guard from behind the door in an ambush position where she could hide to avoid being an easy target or go to the front of the building to blend in with the other people in the front/lobby of the building watching for anyone approaching the door so that she could warn the other guards when someone was approaching so that they could be ready, and then I started walking out toward the front of the building; and the woman who was guarding the door decided to follow my advice to move to the front/lobby of the building to blend in with the other people to watch the door from there to warn the other guards if someone approaches.
Before we got far from the door we heard a lot of noise in the front of the building in the lobby, like an attack had just happened with some people screaming, and we went to investigate; and we found a murdered woman with dark brownish colored skin with black colored medium-length hair like the woman who had guarded the door, the woman who had guarded the door & I knew the dead woman, and the dead woman had been a member of the former weakest/most peaceful gang but after the gang’s leader was killed she decided not to join the new gang that was just formed.
Witnesses said that gang members from Tate’s gang killed the woman in front of everyone in the lobby, I guess they assumed that she had joined the new gang that was just formed or they killed her since she was a former gang member, so I guess maybe Tate had a spy or two watching the meeting.
Tate and his gang were clearly out-of-control, attacking even non-gang members now, and so I decided that Tate & his gang needed to be stopped; and so I decided that I would help stop Tate & his gang, but I made it clear that I would not join any gang.
I just wanted to stop the unnecessary violence and bring back a more peaceful balance, and hopefully eventually all the gangs would break-up/no longer exist; and so I went to tell the new gang of my plans to help give them advice and get the other gangs & non-gang members to help us stop Tate & his gang, but I woke up.
John Jr's Blog 